My last relationship ended in a very chaotic manner. I was hurt, she was hurt, and when you judge it from the break up perspective, it was my fault. I had to go as far as lying that I loved someone else and was in another relationship in order to make reconciliation impossible. Well I would say it was technically not a lie because as time went on I found refuge in the person I used as cover. But that is not the issue, the major issue was that I knew the only way to end it at the time was to create a story that cuts deep and I did just that.
Do I regret it, obviously. There were some nights I still cried my eyes out, but I comforted myself with the knowledge that the break up was necessary. If we decide to look beyond the break up into the relationship, it was clear that our love ran deep. If I must admit I still miss, love and care for her, and I know she still does for me even if she says otherwise, but then again I knew I was doing us a great deal of good because our relationship had a big flaw that could not be corrected.
One of them was that my idea for family is a bit different from hers, but apart from that we hurt each other more than we showed we loved each other. I know I have never loved anyone the way I loved her, to be honest till date the thought of her being with another is still a hard pill to swallow, but I have accepted our new reality and can only wish her well. The break up has made her regret a lot of things and sacrifices she made, but I believe a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. Right now I can only wish her well and move forward with my life.
