Recap: In the last installment, Harvat Gnush wandered the halls of the cruiser, sickened by what he had done. His mind has become a mess, aided by some medication he's been prescribed. After a lapse in time, he found himself in a room that was on fire. No doubt it was his own subconscious doing.
The fire team had quelled the flames and there was an investigation underway. Harvat found sanctuary in his private quarters. The room was dark, he was too afraid to turn on the lights. Believing no one would find him if he himself couldn't see. Sitting in silence he stared at the door, waiting for it to open. After so long, he started to think that it wasn't going to.
Why would they suspect me? He asked. Not even convinced that he was the culprit. Arson. It was out of character, he'd never been one in the past. Harvat held the bottle of pills in his hand, the bottle which had been running dry. How many he had been taking, he wasn't sure of. Enough.
"Take one as you get into bed and relax." The doctor had told him. "How can I relax?" Harvat had retorted. He never went into the details of why he couldn't sleep or what had him on edge. The doctor assumed it was because of the impending battle. But, Harvat didn't correct him. "Just lay down. Count backwards from 100, slowly. By the time you reach the 40's, you'll drift. Let it happen." The man told him. His voice still echoed in his mind.
Easier said than done. Harvat thought as he stared at his mattress. It was disturbed and the sheets were twisted. He could smell the sweat that soaked them the last time he was sleeping. How long has it been? He wondered to himself. Too long, that's for sure.
Standing up gave him a slight dizzy spell, he managed to remain on his feet unaided though. The ordinance hall was the best place for him. He thought if they were to come looking for him, it would be better that they found him there. Putting the bottle in his pocket he heard them rattle as if asking him to take one for the road. No, not yet. His teeth were still chattering slightly from the last dose and his legs felt weak, his fingers twitched and his foot tapped on the floor, waiting to run a marathon. Each step he took, felt like floating on air and his skin was seeping. Then he smelt it. Smoke, from the fire that danced around him. Offering him a home. Harvat would rather not stay homeless and that warm glow seemed inviting. Not yet. He answered the feeling, that begged so many questions.
Rubbing the sleeves of his uniform, he could feel the crunch of the synthetic fabric singed by the flames. It crusted and flaked onto the ground and he knew he would surely be found out if he wore it around the ship. What's the punishment for arsonists? Whatever they wanted it to be. The Confederation would surely frown upon it and they would punish him harshly. They praised him for murdering so many though, Harvat was unable to make sense of that logic.
With a new change of clothes on, he was ready to leave his room. He discarded his old uniform in the waste unit and he made sure to bag it up tight so it wouldn't be discovered by anyone who would think to snoop.
The ordinance hall was mostly empty. There were a few people at their workstations, but, no one seemed to pay Harvat any mind. Sitting behind his desk at the head of the room he looked out at the brightly lit space, which irritated his eyes. Chalking the irritation to the change from the dark room to the sudden bright one. He barely noticed the doors opening. But, the march caught his attention. Watching Brigadier Runish make his way down the hall, focused solely on the man at the head of it. Harvat imagined he was floating above himself, watching in the third person. Brigadier Runish jumped over the table and that beautiful sound of the contents of the desk spilled to the floor. Was he being throttled? What's Runish doing to that man? Making no sense of this messy daydream.
"You're eager to get to work I see, well good. I don't think it'll be much longer." Runish said confidently. Harvat was back in his body, the desk was clean again. He was unsure of what to say, but, his expression must have said that, as Runish walked around the workstation and looked out the window. "The Great Shine as it has been dubbed. You will have a chance to act again. Prepare yourself to paint this new canvas with fire." He continued.
Harvat stood up, feeling woozy. How little you know, Runish. He thought. It took everything not to scream. Below from the top of his lungs. Murderer! You smug bastard! What have you done to me? He wanted to show him so badly. But, how? Would he tare open his skull and let the contents of his mind fall onto the floor? He could paint a picture using the mess and then maybe Runish would understand. More likely, someone would be ordered to clean it up. "Harvat. What are you doing? Pick that back up." Runish would most likely command. The mere thought of it made Harvat flinch. Coward. You would clean it up for him. A voice mocked.
"Paint the planet." He managed to say out loud. "Yes. Like only you could. Like they deserve. Like the Confederation demands." Runish replied. Turning to stare into Harvat's eyes. He must have looked rough, judging by Runish's expression and how it instantly shifted. "Are you well?" He asked as he took a step back to walk around the ghost. "Not really," Harvat replied faintly as he watched him walk away.
"Go down to the med bay and get yourself checked out. Now is not the time to get sick, Harvat, we have work to do and I need you at your best. Take some time for yourself, I'll have Jichaes take over your station for now." He said. "I have enough to deal with. The Trisken fleet hasn't made a move and all scopes are on them. We're expecting boarding parties at any moment. I thought we were under attack earlier today. Some fool set a fire in one of the Custodial closets." Runish continued. That sent a cold streak up Harvat's spine. "The Custodial closet?" Runish's eye's widened. In part disbelief and partly shock.
"You mean to say you didn't hear the alarms. Don't worry, it was nothing, but they are being punished for their negligence." Harvat shook his head. Trying to deflect another boat of guilt. "Are you sure it was one of them?" He asked, without thinking. "Do I care if it was?" Runish asked. "The answer is no. No, I don't. It was their jurisdiction and regardless if it was one of them, it was their job to look after those closets. It won't happen again I'm sure. Now, get yourself down to the med bay as I said. I have things to discuss, but, they can wait." Runish made his way back to the door he used to enter the room and the Rotchi guards who stood to attention shadowed him as he passed.
Is this my punishment? My hell? Am I to be the man who casts pain onto others? The flurry of questions soaked his mind, like the bleach he wish he had. Actions have reactions and consequences always have a way of finding perpetrators. Traitor. That treacherous streak ran hot in his mind, like a molten poker. It wasn't my fault. I'm not the instigator. Neither was Jex. They suffered by my command on account of what the Gnosians did. He had to ask himself if those raids were planned. Did Free Space give the orders to them or did they act on their own? Did it matter? Like the custodians who are being disciplined on account of Harvat's actions. The blame was pinned because a culprit was never found. Fog filled his eyes, and the light from the corridors was intense. So bright he could almost hear them buzzing as he was bathed in their shine. The Great Shine.
The door to the med bay lay before him and he didn't even realise he had come so far. His interest was peaked by how absent one's mind can be, while the body carries on. The ghost of the halls, floating on autopilot. He was ready to enter, he didn't feel like he could, however.
When I walk through these doors, I have to be honest. He decided. One deep breath was all he needed to step forward.
