Battling with thoughts that I don't even understand and emotions akin to fear that make no sense to my fearless mind. I get it all the time, and never understand it. People telling me I'm brave when I'm actually a petrified human, struggling to make sense of reality and fighting back the tears.
I look around and it all seems so bleak. Lots of dumb shit from dumb people that think they're smart. They're constantly fucking shit up and acting like they have good intentions. Sometimes, i wish they would all just die because they grind my gears.
I want to focus on myself but I think that's fundamentally impossible and quite stupid, if we're being honest. If these people didn't exist, I won't feel fear, and all these other negative emotions. Then i hear someone say "your happiness depends on you" and all that sanctimonious crap. It's actually some shit I've said to people going through hard times but it's just some template crap that I picked up from Timfucktoo.
Man I'm so angry and scared of my environment. I walk outside and everyone suddenly seem like wild beasts, waiting to eat their filling of my flesh.
The bastards are just out there; wearing their fake smiles and making their silly jokes that I never understand. If only they didn't scare me so much, maybe I would have been their friend.
