Have you ever been around someone that feels just so toxic? Being around the person just felt like life and happiness were sucked out of you. You're no longer happy after speaking to them. You could be having the best day ever, and they ruin it. You don't hate the person; you don't understand why you can't stand being around them.
You may be dealing with a complainer...
You Owe Them
Complainers may have in their head do you owe them something. They believe that 100%. But you won't even know what it is. That's the thing, though; they'll never tell you. They will probably make passive-aggressive comments about what they want from you. Or what you owe them. They may have expectations of you that you can't even fathom. But they expect you to read their mind and they will express these expectations,
when you fall short of giving them what they think you owe them, they may become hostile or angry with you. And you'll never understand why.
They are never impressed or grateful for whatever they get. You could give this person $1 million tomorrow, and they'll be pissed off that they didn't get it today. These are the types of people whom you talk to about your good news. They then seem unhappy for some weird reason. You ask them what's wrong. And they find something to bitch about from it. Sometimes you'll be shocked by what it is, because that negative thing never even crossed your mind. I've dealt with coworkers like this; they're distraught that the new hires got a two-dollar-a-hour raise. But they also get a raise to match that wage. They are ungrateful and outraged by all this. But the reality is, they still get a raise too. If they didn't know that the new hires were getting a raise, would they still be angry? They are mad because somebody else is getting a benefit they didn't get when they were in that position. But things are constantly changing.
They are better.
They'll say their ideas were better!
No one ever does anything as good as they do. They will spend all day complaining about other people, and they won't say anything positive about anyone else. They seem to drain the happiness from everybody. If someone is happy because something unique happened to them. They'll find a way to put that person down and make them feel like crap.
They believe they have more problems and setbacks than most.
They love to take the victim's stance. Their life is so hard, and they are done wrong all the time, instead of looking at their lives and figuring out how to do things better. They spend all day complaining about things that are entirely outside of their control. They never see the problem as themselves. Everyone is just out to get them all the time.
The thing that drives me nuts about complainers is they aren't looking for advice or solutions. If you give them advice, they won't even listen. They may start rambling and complaining about something else, saying why they can't take your advice or how they're a victim. They're impossible to deal with; they suck the happiness out of everything. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
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