I'm not usually one for the more adult games that you can find available. I'm not into the vast array of Hentai you can find on Steam, neither am I into those random Dating Simulators.
At the same time I love the romance aspect of games such as Dragon Age (Alistair still makes me swoon), Stardew Valley, Mass Effect... and other things. And I am still disappointed that Bishop from Neverwinter Nights 2 didn't have a fleshed out romance for those of us with evil characters. Apparently there was one, but it was cut.
ANYWAY. I'm veering off track.
A game caught my eye yesterday; a game that normally would not.
And I just want to say... this "game" is freaking hilarious.
It has gameplay that wouldn't be out of place on a mobile app, but dang. I haven't laughed this much in forever. It costs nearly $30 AUD... AND IT IS WORTH EVERY CENT. Just for the laughs. We could all use some laughs, right?
The character creator is fantastic. You can make yourself look as hideous or pretty or handsome as you like. Furthermore, The Holy Hand Grenade is a prop!! Naturally I chose to wield it. BEHOLD! The Holy Hand Grenade! You also get to create the appearance of your rival.
I am a great business person and... the story starts with my character hiding under the desk for some reason. Then my sexy maid proceeds to gush over some miscellaneous adventures and daring-do. I rescued a cat, erupted a volcano, and initiated the greatest orgy some islanders had even seen!
Already I was giggling like a lunatic.
One thing leads to another and suddenly, mysteriously, somehow my rival has taken control of my business and has stolen it from right beneath my nose. The scoundrel. Now it's time to work my way back to the top and reclaim that which belongs to me!
By using my female charms, of course, alongside some smashing activities like jousting an incoming train!
With my womanly ways I entice other business people into a partnership with me, and apparently I can raise their affection, arm-wrestle them, play blackjack and serve tea for lunch, perhaps indulge in a lunch-time massage, and slowly get to know their stories.
Max Gentlemen is particularly amusing with his need to EXPLODE ALL THE THINGS.
But then we have the world renowned author I can't help but commiserate with.
There's a whole cast of business partners to recruit, male and female, and, of course, you can speak of lascivious things with each and every one of them as you flirt your way back into power and finally sleep with them all like the aristocratic whore you are.
My character hasn't yet. I've been too busy laughing at the amazing writing in this and I may have focused on paying off debts before "mingling," but I assume I'll soon be laughing at hopefully-humorous sexy scenes.
I should probably note here that I'm also the type of person who'll find deliberately awful porn just to laugh at it.
Anyway. If you like ludicrous and lascivious humour with a side of "antics," I can't recommend this enough. With addictive phone-app-quality gameplay and the best dialogue I've seen in years... it may not be worth $30AUD -- $20USD -- but for all the laughs it gave me yesterday, it's better than spending $30 on a bottle of Jimmy.
All screenshots in this post courtesy of me, 
