Emotional intelligence (EQ) isn’t just a frequently discussed topic, it’s also a support necessary for the success of every person. With every proof and publicity, few people actually use their emotional intelligence. These are 4 factors that represent the base of EQ, in a practical approach.
In the book called “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman, which I talked about in a previous post, the author presents a study that corelate the ability of children to resist to certain temptations with their school and social situations.
Being put in a situation in which they has to choose between receiving a cake now, or 2 later, the ones who chose the second option were the ones with better results in school and a better social life.
Are you capable of resisting now, in order to receive a reward later? Think about a situation in which you can avoid having a fight or criticizing someone. Before reacting, you need to predict you behavior. Awareness is the first step in opposing a tempting situation. Like doctor House said, “Following your heart is easy. Following you brain is tough. Especially after years of following a much smaller organ”.
Once you’re capable of predicting your reactions, the power of choice will appear. “I’m going to scream. Do I want to do that?”. When you’re aware, you can detach a little, in order to take control over impulsive behavior.
What I’m about to say is a harsh truth, not easy to accept. Although emotions make you feel special, they don’t make you special. Each one of us has intense feelings. In order to improve your EQ, you have to understand that your emotions aren’t above or beyond other’s. Emotions are universal.
I’ve noticed that emotions are a reaction to the external environment and that you can decide how to react under an emotion. The difference between having emotional intelligence and having emotional mastery is in the ability of juggle with your emotions. If you can decide how to react, you can decide not to react at all, right?
So, you’re repressing an emotion. It’s there, but it doesn’t manifest. On the other hand, emotions are generated by things like: a person, a place, a song, a taste, a smell, a situation. If you can recreate the situation, you can partially revive an emotion.
@jwolf-