The answer of course is having a set of rules, as simple as possible, and for everyone to stick to them, yes, including the parents. It is no use parents punishing lying if they do so themselves. How many parents bicker over the most mundane things and expect their children to be courteous and behave calmly. Parents, lead by example at all times even when your child is behaving badly.
Thanks for highlighting these problem areas.
I agree with you Angie...........boundaries!