Within days of my 29th birthday, back in September 2009, I awoke one morning with a deep dread that my relationships and entire life had been built on sand, Quicksand. This feeling of dreed gave way to a deeply seated knowing that all I had been working for and building to was the attainment for someone else's happiness and not my own, nor my family or community. I was living deep in dissatisfaction and I decided that day to start to investigate "what's going on with me", no matter where it leads. I was led to finding a "Mind Power" workshop recording where the laws of the mind were revealed. Simply "You become what you think about most of the time, and habits are how you knit the tapestry of your life one day at a time".
My first BIG clue as to what was "wrong" with me came in self reflection, when I relaxed and asked within "What am I doing wrong" and received the feeling that all my relationship were shallow and I was using people as they were using me. This is where I learned the real confession.... I started going to each and every friend and family member I was or had lied to, used, stole from, talked about behind their backs, ect. I didn't do this for their forgiveness, but to tart out on a new foot, a foot where I was radically honest with myself and therefor with everyone. This was my seed of integrity that has been growing within now for 17 years.
When I let the story of my victimhood go, over time, a new story of understanding and compassion took its place. I saw my parents current suffering as a reflection of the hurt child within them, still stuck in places and times where they were hurt as children, and those same themes repeating was their inner child calling out for help.
