Enough With Your Untidy Fence and Booming Drum Kit
Dear Sue,
I have always felt ecstatic living near to you. You are the most big neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your barking dog.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your fence is too untidy and your drum kit way too booming. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a paint brush
I have to insist that you take action to stop your barking dog from upsetting me. I demand that you cut down the hedge then take the fence down.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your untidy hedge increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Rose Close.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the neighbourhood watch and post photos of your barking dog on Reddit.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
justadoge