Am I happy? - is a closed question suggesting you are either happy, or not
It meant happiness is a binary.
It meant that happiness is a point that you can reach.
However, this point does not exist, and clinging on to this belief will frustrate you.
How can I be happier? - is the correct question to ask
It is not a finite point
It is an unlimited resource
You can never reach perfect happiness
Stop saying "I will be happy when I buy a house/car" or "I will be happy when I am promoted to manager/director" because reaching these states will make you feel like happy for only a few days
4 Hamburger Model:
Vegetarian (Rat Race) - You eat healthy, yet not so nice burger, so that you live longer
Junk-Food (Hedonism) - You eat the most delicious burger, enjoying very much, without considering the consequences
Worst Burger (Nihilism) - You eat sucky and unhealthy burger, because you have gave up
Ideal Burger (Happiness) - You eat delicious and healthy burger
Rat racer is a slave to the future. Hedonist is a slave to the moment. Nihilist is a slave to the past.
Happiness is:
Pleasure (present benefit)
Meaning (future benefit)
Find your own meaning/purpose/calling in life
Note: Balance idealism and realism
When climbing a mountain, you focus on the peak (your goal), so that you stay on course. You have to enjoy every step, and the whole journey (process), not just the peak.
Goals are means, not just ends.
People experience work in 1 of 3 ways:
Job
Career
Calling
MPS Process: Meaning, Pleasure and Strength overlaps
How to be happier:
Help others. Contributing to others' happiness will provide you with meaning and pleasure.
Introduce happiness boosters. Provide yourself with pleasure and meaning even for a short moment.
Look within yourself and ask the important question. Imagine you travel 10 years to the past and advise your younger self, what advise would it be? Now, think what your older self will advise you to be happier.
Take your time. Don't rush.
Recognise happiness (not $$) is the ultimate currency
Come to think of it, we learn many things from books, yet we never learn about happiness - which is obviously the most important thing in life.