I loved you, not in a way the world could see, but in a way that quietly became my entire world. I never said it, but I never stopped feeling it. Every night, the same thought finds me, that love is such a strange feeling. Everyone talks about it, everyone dreams of it, but not every one gets to live it fully, and maybe I was never meant to.
I stayed silent, and my silence slowly became my story. I used to believe that love would feel light, soft smiles, butterflies, endless happiness, losing myself in someone's thoughts and finding peace there. And when you came, I really thought, this is it, this is love.
I smiled at the feeling, not knowing it would one day be the reason I break. Because no one tells you that love also carries pain, that sometimes loving someone means Learning to stay away from them, that sometimes you feel everything but still end up with nothing. I understood it slowly, but accepting it hurt more than I expected. What I felt for you was never half, it was never casual, it was real. Even if it was one sided, it was still mine, and I don't regret loving you, I never will. But somewhere, it hurts knowing the person I loved so deeply was never meant to be mine.
I don't blame you, I just wish my heart understood that too. You didn't misunderstand me, you just understood me as much as you could see. A simple connection, a normal attachment, nothing more. And I never gave you a reason to see more, so how could you ever know? Sometimes I wonder, how can something as heavy as I love you feel so light to the other person? spoken or unspoken, does it even reach them? But then I remind myself, I never asked you to understand, so what right do I have to expect it? I stayed quiet, and then broke because of that same silence.
I never asked you for anything, not your time, not your attention, not your feelings, so I never had the right to say understand me. But still, there's one thing I wish I had done, just once, said it, that I love you, three simple words that stayed trapped inside me forever. Because I know, if I ever say it now, it will already be too late, too late for it to change anything, too late for it to matter, and maybe that's why I chose silence over losing you completely. You may never understand what you were to me, but I've learned something, love isn't always about having someone, sometimes, it's just about feeling them, deeply, silently, and then letting them go.
I never really let you go, I just learned how to live without showing it. Even today, I think of you, not every moment, but in every truth. And this love, even incomplete, even unspoken, is still the most real part of me, Because this is my story, I loved you in silence, and that silence became everything. Maybe I was just a small part of your life, but you became a whole world inside me
