Good, Steemit friends. In this opportunity I have decided to write that post based on my personal experience, particularly as I comment in my first publication, I am currently going through the loss of my wife, who died on 07/30/2017, barely 8 months.
For me particularly the worst of the days that I have lived so far, she was my complement, we lived too many things together, we were brothers, friends, confidante, everything and I got to see how the morning of that July 30 died in front of me and I could not do anything to help her, to God I thank her that during that moment she did not make her suffer, she only fell asleep while I caressed her and her breathing became slower and heavier until she left.
We only had my 6-year-old daughter and I in my house, I did not even know how to give my baby information. I did not think it was fair that she, at such a young age, had to go through the pain of her mother's death and that I could not I did nothing, but life surprised me, the moment I told my daughter that her mother had died, of course with terms that she could understand at her age and not disturb her, what she answered was "Ok daddy, I accept that mom died, the only thing I'm going to ask is that I do not want to see her in the box "God at first I was blown away by her words but then I understood that my daughter was assimilating the fact of what she was saying and that She was better to keep the good memories that she had of her mother. She was helping me to understand that we can draw great strength from pain and great learning from bad news.
I had even thought about withdrawing from college, I thought that I was not going to be able to carry the burden of the studies and besides raising my daughter by myself, I had to dedicate more time now. At the beginning there were weeks of a lot of pain, every morning I woke up with depressions, crying to my wife, I did it and I still need it. It is something I will never forget because it is not my intention to forget it but with the passing of months I have understood that it is for me to enjoy the good memories I have of the moments we live together because apart from everything they motivate me every day more to follow Go ahead for my daughter and for me.
I preferred to spend all day outside my house because being in it killed me with memories and depression, but at the end of August when my daughter and I got sick one night while we were lying down, I asked my daughter If she missed her mom, it was a question that made me a lot because I cried every day and did not see my daughter do it and it intrigued me, but to my question she answered "of course I miss her daddy, I miss everything about her" I did not want ask nothing else to not make her feel bad but then she smiled at me and said hugging me "but quiet dad, I'm with you". At that time I understood that I was not making anything out of my house, I did not earn anything thinking about retiring from college, I was not winning anything crying in a bed because if my daughter of only six (06) years was watching at that time THE VESSEL HALF FULL, I did not earn anything seeing it HALF EMPTY.
With those words I understood that our life, although it may sound something selfish, MUST CONTINUE because nobody will come to live for us, that it is better to LIVE WITH THE GOOD MEMORIES and not get depressed when remembering, that we MUST CONTINUE ADVANCING IN LIFE because the time it stops, and that life must continue despite adversity. Many times we are an example for many people, if you spend this going through a great pain with this I do not want to say that you are going out of parties obviously there is a mourning that we will carry in our hearts for the loss of the loved one but not you You can die because you do not gain anything, otherwise you lose a lot and between those things time and life and nothing of that you will recover.
