Life for you is like a labyrinth that you must walk in it, though tired you have to keep walking to get out of the labyrinth so you can survive.
Never again do I hear your quasi-words about the world you are buzzing me every time you speak. No longer do I see you who always imply a happy laugh even though you're so fragile. No more I think your presence is always accompanying every step I take. I've lost you.
Your real figure has disappeared, a figure that considers the world as a collection of mosaics that you have to unite each piece, so that it can become meaningful. You who only think of the world as just a collection of wounds, a collection of wounds that you heal in your way. Now you're gone. Yes, you've disappeared and I've missed you.
I'm not as good as you in living with your life, nor do I walk steep like the steep road you often pass, but you do not have to look at the world just a collection of wounds that always dissolves your heart, you do not have to curse your life that is hard to be add hard, you just have to live better with the difficult journey you've been through. A word I never had time to say until I had to lose your true figure.
That day is not as usual, your face looks more pale than before, your face looks more gaunt, your eyes more sunken than before, I guess you just sleep less as usual. You approached me as usual, nothing changed. You're still taking your jokes, talking all you like, laughing out loud and then coughing and your breathing getting congested. Your cough has not stopped for a year. I have repeatedly reminded you to see a doctor, but you just said that a regular cough would not be a problem.
That very day you took me to the tree house where we used to sit, but not as usual, you sit next to me but just pause. "Something strange" was my thought at that time. I ignore my thoughts and feelings, maybe you're tired. It's been an hour or more and you have not got a single word you say, you're not like a figure I know, something different from your face, you look so lifeless, maybe it's because your pale face and your eyes are getting haggard, that's my thought, ignoring my thoughts and feelings.
"You know I like rain is not it? Rain is peace and quiet "suddenly you talk after so long silence.
"Of course I know, what I do not know about you" I said as if really know about you.
"Yes, you're right, you always know about me" you say empty.
Again you're silent again, and look at me like you're going away. Very far, really very far.
"What do you do if I disappear and leave without taking you?" Suddenly a strange question slips out of your mouth.
"Hahaha where are you going? you can not go without taking me, I know you will not leave me, so you want to go anywhere without taking me? hahaha kandamu outrageous and not funny "jokes with discomfort.
"You're right, I can not leave you, but what if I leave you?"
"Again you're talking strange, you why? are you going to leave me? "
"I'm afraid, if I have to leave you." Your thoughts drifted away.
"You will not leave me, you promise to look after me, you promised to reach our dreams together, and you promised you will not go" I began to shed tears.
"I do not want to go, but what if the time that requires me to leave, I'm afraid if my time is up !!
"Believe me, you will not go anywhere, we will achieve our dreams together, you will not let me achieve my own dreams is not it?" I sobbed tears
"You still have to achieve your dreams without me" you say
"How will I reach a dream without you, you who always accompany me in reaching my dreams, now you will go how I might achieve my dream without you"
"You have to achieve dreams for me, I'll be happy if you keep your dreams going, you promise to keep your dream for me?"
I just nodded, I could already feel I was going to lose you, either lost what I felt.
You have not been there since that day forever, you've really gone. You go with your dream that you have not had time to realize but you still leave my dream to keep me.
I love you who have gone away, a love that you never knew until the last breath has run out you exhale. Thank you for filling the half empty space in my heart.