I'm pretty sure my upstairs neighbors are a lesbian couple. Is it still ok to say lesbian? I'm not sure anymore, because over the last 18 months or so we got like 37 new gender identities and sexual orientations, and in keeping with the straight white male stereotype, I made sure to dedicate zero time to learning what they all were. Partly because I'm just so busy, but mostly because I really don't care, because it's none of my business. But the other day I was with my friend whose dog has testicles, and I'd always assumed that meant it was a male, but then the dog squatted to pee, and I panicked because I realized I now don't know what its preferred pronouns are.
Anyway I got off the subject. There are two people, who I assume are women, living in the apartment above me, in what I also assume is a lesbian relationship. Which is fantastic. Except for when they have very loud sex directly above my head in their living room. They live above me. We have the same floor plan. The bedroom is in the back. But they handle their business in the living room. The floors are thin and squeaky. One of them keeps screaming about her pussy. Now, I don't have a problem with this, except that it throws off my rhythm when I'm trying to masturbate. I'm not masturbating because of them, we just happen to keep a similar schedule. The upside though is that I can turn up the volume on my porn, and since the walls are so thin, I don't think the other neighbors can tell what screams are coming from where.
