When I first started using Whatsapp, I looked for a phrase to use instead of the standard "Hi, I am using Whatsapp" and what immediately came to mind was "existing by Divine Intervention," which I immediately added and it has remained there ever since. I did not realize the significance of the phrase until a series of events occurred in my life.
I made decisions that saved me so many times, and I discovered that I had the ability to make last-ditch decisions that saved me from horrible occurrences, and I know I have made terrible decisions, but I tend to believe that the right decisions I have made have brought me a long way, and I know it is not entirely my fault; I am not that smart, but sometimes I make smart decisions and end up doing foolish things.
The times when I made wise decisions were not due to me; they were due to a Divine influence that I could not explain. Many people thought they would seen the last of me, but then something happened, and I was there, staring them in the face.
As a 30-year-old, I began to feel the rush of that rhema, which made me realize it was not me; my life is a miracle, a testament to the fact that something can be messed up but still good, that something can be naturally meant to wither but survives beyond logic.
I have had my fair share of pain, times when I wished I had not been born, and times when I was ready to throw in the towel and give up, but sometimes I get this extra energy to compete; I always knew I did not have it in me, but there was something that kept bringing that extra energy to go, and I knew it was not mine.
Sometimes the things I believed in come true, even when I did not work or hope for them.
The disappointments I have faced in life have turned out to be a greater blessing in disguise, and when they happened, I knew it was not me because I truly lack strength. I have seen my share of losses and wins. I have recently suffered a number of losses, including the loss of all of my family members. I did not expect it; I was the sickly and odd one out of the four of us, and it is now just me.
Am I distraught?
Yeah. Do I think I deserve better? Yes, but life is inexplicably mysterious, and even the creator cannot account for our numerical excesses because humans are powerful and have only one limit in life. I feel like I deserve an explanation for why so many things happen, such as why I always have to rely on a miracle, but years have passed, and I have realized that many people kill in order to have a miracle, which they cannot.
My health complications have been in remission for a while (I hope), but without the big money medical tests, I am still in a state of "ignorance," and while this is not a good thing, I want to leave my mind empty and void of any concerns without feeling like it is the end of the world.
I know I have had my fair share of pity, and it is been served to me in a smoking bowl, left and right, but that is the way it is. It is what people do; they pity you and move on, and sometimes you have to dig deep within yourself to find the necessary empathy to get back up.
I have wallowed in pity, believe me, but it is damning, and I will not claim to have conquered it; it is one big monster that creeps through your life like a shattered glass in a cup of water.
Most of the time, faith is what keeps me going; without faith, everything appears hazy, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel; instead, I project the light, pretend to see it, and continue walking toward it. With so many losses, I sometimes wonder if I still have my sense of projection. I have doubts about my decisions and am afraid to make more.
The strength to be daring appears to have faded, which is where faith comes in. I mean, faith is what is hoped for, the proof of things unseen. I have been learning to dig deeper and look to the heavens for guidance.
Without Faith, it's impossible to live through adversity.
If we are consumed by our current situation, the logic of life, and things getting worse rather than better, there is no need for hope. Faith is primarily evidence of things unseen but hoped for. It is survival against the odds, coming out of an impossible situation, exceeding expectations, and winning by the smallest margin. Obtaining the satisfaction of going beyond an intended destination and exceeding externally imposed limitations.
Many people believe they do not believe in God, or they do, but they do not think they need Him to get through life's challenges, but when things get tough, they start to believe in the impossible. According to the Bible, without faith, it is impossible to please God. Many people believe that the meaning of this is one-sided, but it isn't.
God understands our adversity in life, which is why He asks for Faith: if we believe everything is lost based on the statistics we have, how can we believe in the possibility of a miracle?
Granted, many people have never seen or experienced a miracle, but people beating cancer is a miracle, as are doctors' inexplicable expectations and rags-to-riches stories that required no effort or work.
For me, I now understand what it means to live by Divine Intervention; it was a grace to function beyond my means, and I am still holding on, learning to project calm in the face of storms.
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