After losing my only brother and mom in the space of two years, life really became very reflective for me. I stopped acting without thinking, I became passive, and started seeing life from another angle.
obviously I was was heartbroken, it wasn't just about the heartbreak, it was the burden of not just fighting a horrible genetic condition, but knowing I was the only left, having the burden of kick-starting the next generation, worrying about whether I'd make it or not, becoming paranoid, hurt and devastated.....
then the sudden complete disappearance from the timeline of people I use to know.
You see, a lot of people still don't realize that in this world, we come and we go, to them it's still just one giant bubble to enjoy, they do but ask the hard and difficult questions, simply because they feel too young and healthy to die, or probably living in the illusion that they're better than those who have died.
A lot of people are always of that illusion and while it's really sad, the saddest part is that people do not think of themselves in the past tense, and while it's a paranoid thing to do.
I still think people not being that deeply reflective is why life is filled with people who thinks they're going to love forever, and hence they commit crimes, do all sort of evil and wickedness.
Now, away from this, I also think it's why we don't have kinder people in life, now you might say there's primarily no advantage of being kind, but the truth is that human race as a whole will be a better place, if people can see fulfillment, happiness, joy as a reward rather than money or favours being done to them.
Apparently the world is not permanent, even though sometimes it feels like it is.
The very essence of existence becomes obsolete the moment the body can no longer function and for someone who has seen some of the most horrible illnesses and experiences.
I can tell you that the world feels fleeting when you are unhealthy. It's why I always champion that people becomes deep thinkers. There's a lot you get to realize when you're not just living.
There are things about life that are so mysterious and if you don't discover them while you're alive, you might not get to live life in a fulfilling way.
Holding a grudge is something I use to be able to do a lot.
I remember not speaking to someone in over a decade because of a wrongdoing they did to me, the grudge sometimes becomes a heavy load on the mind, and apparently it becomes worse when you're dealing with a terrible person...
but honestly the world is too fickle for you to live it holding grudges, and fighting haunting emotional feelings, it steals the tranquility of the state of the mind.
The state of reality
In reality, not everyone will come to the realization that they need to mend a lot of things in their lives, not everyone will realize that they could be here today and absent tomorrow, not everyone will prepare...
a lot of people will leave this world feeling untouchable by anything, only to realize, or not that they're not untouchable anyway.
People need to understand that they're not invincible and that no state of mind, health, money or finance can make a difference, largely it does, by this is the most unique aspect of life, nothing is invincible.
The moment or time you have is now, you still have 20 years time, but the moment, the "now" is the only time you truly have.