This post's title is a bit of a hyperbole, but......... 2014 was one of the toughest years of my life, it was so because 80% of the problems I had could have been with the right financial capacity. Sometimes money problems make us think the world will end until we have money and remain helpless against our problems. It's tough to be handicapped.
No one deserves to be handicapped when facing life demons. This is because it puts you in a psychological position of helplessness and rewires your mentality.
However, If I had my wish in life, I'd wish never to be in a better financial position and still be helpless against my problems. When people are broke, it can act as the right justification to cope with a lack of capacity.
For example, a person who couldn't buy Bitcoin when it was 15k last year might say "Oh I didn't have money". It's better than saying "I had the money, but I made the mistake of not choosing to buy it"
There's justification in feeling naturally powerless against a formidable enemy
.....but when you feel equipped and still lose irrespective of your capacity, it creates this mindset of disability, no matter how mentally-abled you might think you are. I miss having only money problems in my life. Nowadays I have both money problems and problems money cannot solve.
It's a dark place to be in.
I saw people in the hospital yesterday, helpless and unable to help their situations some of them looked like their money wouldn't be able to save them, and it's a terrible place to be in.
Recently I realized that I probably never had a lot of people who "truly" cared about me. See the emphasis on "TRULY". it's a pastoral representation. Sometimes the attention people give to money is not worth it, and this is because someday they might be in positions when the attention they paid to making money won't be able to save them.
It's the same.
I've paid solid attention to some people in the past, and in the past few months I've expected them to do the say for me, but they just didn't. It hurt a lot. Then I realized it was my fault. Nothing is ever truly yours, except the undying and unconditional love you show to yourself.
You have to understand that people will never truly treat you the way you want them to, never coming to terms with this and accepting it can break a person in their trying times.
For example, I've pretty much lost all of my nuclear family, inasmuch as it was a dysfunctional family, the was this sense of security that came with having them. Now you truly begin to understand that the concept of true love is a charade.
To be very honest, you live your life, and you need to start reducing the dependability on even that person that gives you a sense of security. Most of us are not truly as secure as we think. It only takes a big problem in your life to truly understand.
There's no harm in knowing you're not truly secure.
Along the line, you'll make your peace. For me, I want to live a life with less emphasis on emotional attachments. I've lived it for a while, and it's probably why I still feel hurt. I must begin to detach myself and begin to live in my nomenclature. I don't think deeper connections to things that might fail you are recommendable. However, a lot of people want to do that, because it makes life enjoyable.
2023 has probably superseded 2014 because this year was full of things I could virtually do nothing to solve. It's a powerless situation and it has dented my confidence a lot. Like the illustration I made, I preferred 2014 because a lot of the failures I had were things I could have resolved if I had the money. The lessons I learned bettered my life.
However, the pain I've had recently battered me, rather than bettered me. It's life, and I think people eventually go through their fair of disappointment.
Life isn't sentimental, it dishes pain, laughter, triumph, wealth, depression, money, gains, sadness, and all that. It doesn't listen to our pleas, life just happens, and that's it. We're left to begin to deal with it.
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