The Past Negative
This is the long awaited part 2 of the improving your past post, it took a bit longer, simple reason… I forgot about it XD.
I can start telling all of you though, that this will be very heavy.
Do not read this if you are not ready.
Do not read this if you are not putting it into practice anyway.
This is helping you beyond all trauma if you do not want to search for help, this will be a post that changes your life around as long as you Will it!
I recommend to first read part 1 to get properly into it as well.
We will dive in our pains from our youth, from abuse to having so much self doubt that you are destroying yourself or going to a path of suicidal tendencies.
This post you will learn, not about the illusions of the you, but building towards the authentic YOU!
Personally, i am still working towards my authentic self (almost done though), in my case i got lucky to found my twin and she pointed it all out, as i pointed it out for her. So that we are learning from each other to become the best what we can be, like true equals.
I will share this, together with what I know of Life coaching with all of you.
It is turning dusk , it is getting dark…
Everyone has things from their pasts that blocks them, parts that also define who they are now in both positive and negative ways.
Not everyone comes out positively out of a negative situation, some dwell their whole life on it. Even at such a level that they do drug abuse, alcohol abuse, even murder or worse.
Not only trauma can create this kind of existence, but for many this is the basis of how things are getting from bad to worse.
Letting your environment dictate who you are, instead of the you inside doing it.
So the next step will be an exercise, where you learn how to forgive yourself for all that has happened and you have done wrong.
In our hearts we are still children and many of us cannot grow up, because of the issues that have arisen as we turn older.
Yeah, the body of an adult, but because of our pains etc, we stayed like children with an adult body.
Forgive Yourself
If you have a lot to carry around on your mind and consciousness, things that have been told to you and that you feel obligated and responsible to do or that you always feel guilty about everything that you do even if those things are good.
Don’t be, it is simply not worth it.
We are all flawed beings, with our good and bad sides, putting a lot of pressure on yourself has no use, because it would make you incapable of truly achieving what you need and want to achieve.
But beating yourself up mentally has become routine at every aspect of your life, how to get out of this?
Lets do it step by step:
To keep doing what you are doing, you are holding an armor up. The question hereby is, how can i drop this armor?
I mean the armor is very heavy and you cannot walk freely carrying it all the time.
It may feel safe, but do you like to run where you want to? Or do you like to stand still like a statue?Also remember that it is not your fault when you were young, it is nobody's fault, people get carried by emotions or their past hurt as well, let it go.
Yes, you can be victimized, but do not stay a victim, start growing beyond it!
Think about it atleast.
After bit by bit dropping the armor, you notice that you feel pain at certain points of your body, this will pass and this will not take to long. Find the answer of why it is hurting and where it may come from.
I will not go technical about it, but to keep it simple, what is happening here is to unconnect certain connections in your brain and rewire it.
Now after working on it, start to forgive yourself. You have been working hard and it is time to have fun in life, with what you want to do.
No more need to fight, let it go. Have fun, success will come at the moment you love what you are doing and i mean truly loving it!
After taking your time of letting go of so much, do not pressure yourself too quickly to learn again about yourself again, take your time, you will need it.
After this exercise, slowly but steady certain changes are starting to come, but this takes its time, even if there are moments that things are hell in terms of sickness or even physical pain as a response.
It is worth it in the end!
It is night time
After starting to forgive yourself, you need to keep in mind. There are things that we should not do and we carry a burden on ourselves because of it. But it should not cripple your life, what has been done, has been done and you can only learn.
Instead of having regrets, become stronger, instead of trying to make up, make up by becoming a better person. Quote from my Twin.
Now that the first steps have been opened up and a lot of pains healed up, change is underway.
Now we go deeper and into the next step, our most horrible actions, our most horrible thoughts, the crippling darkness that we fear of ourselves.
Our biggest shame, our biggest hell, our biggest secrets, our insanity, the things that we have been through that makes us connect to our highest creativity, but this also can destroy us.
It gives us our biggest strengths our biggest powers, yet it is not pure in its essence, it is not the true alignment towards our Core Values or for some Our True Will.
The night of our soul has come, this will be the most difficult path to cross, because the fogs of our emotions, the potential paths, the hopes and dreams we thought to have, start to cease existing walking this path.
Is this then true needed for our real happiness?
Only if you want it, there is no only 1 route to Rome, there are many and for some walking not walking this path also get where they need to be.
You notice that the armor has become more flexible, but still very rusty, still very difficult to move. You start to remember and think why you did the things you did.
You start to think and even look at how you act as a person today and that you judge others harshly, while what they are only doing is reflecting.
People are all like mirrors to one another and even if somebody is really bad against you, you ofcourse may defend yourself.
But people reflect in their attitude towards you, with 2 reasons, how you are acting and how they truly feel on the inside.
People sometimes want to hide behind their characters, behind their ego, they are just as afraid as you are even if they look like real daredevils.
Some actually also got fully in touch with their inner darkness, great artists are born from it. People with the biggest hells inside of them are able to create the most beautiful of work.
Yet, even that limits them, because this is not something that can be fixed with just love, hard work, money or anything.
This can only be fixed by yourself and noticing that you are not completely aligned with who you truly are!
The next exercise will be focussing around the fact that we slowly, but steady start dropping off that armor completely and get naked, this will be the biggest pain you will feel in your life, but afterwards you are free and not only do you walk and run, but you can also swim and fly on your path.
True Freedom and the feeling of True Love inside comes at the end of this road.
Time to see who we really are
You got bullied a lot, you had abusive parents, you had been through worse… The pain deep inside that you are going through, the need to fight through it day in day out. (sometimes even the smallest no or yes at an important moment can traumatize you, not because you are weak, but because how we work as humans)
Life hurts, instead of being enjoyable.
Let’s turn this around,
Before continuing, it may be best to be with someone that is really really close with you.
You will fall first, but this is needed to rise even higher than before.
Start recollecting horrible and bad moments that you had with friends and memory and how your behaviour is at these moments.
You may get emotional, but try to stay rational and look at your own behaviour.
Think about, why did you act this way? Where does this come from? And why do i take bad and horrible moments, it is because at these moments that we show our worst. We at the same time show our biggest beauty that is inside of us.
It is a reflection of the pain that we are showing to others, our true vulnerability. Our true weaknesses and our true pain.
Try to think back and try to use your personal insights of where it could be connected to in your youth. At this moment you will be in deep pain, you will cry, you will shout, because what you are doing now at this moment is healing you.
The armor starts to slide off, all that you have been carrying on you, is bit by bit falling off, you know that it would only slow you down.
After having this point, you at the lowest you can be. You feel so much lighter and bit by bit your body starts to become more healthy as well. If you have chronic pains, this will reduce them bit by bit.
You still have a lot of work to do, because now you can also take these points in relationships with people all around and go with even your daily rituals.
Now after having fixed so many things, sometimes you will be reminded that there is still some work to do by friends or family, you also notice that their behaviour against you has changed a lot!
Again i do not say that this will fix all trauma, but this can help you underway to help yourself. If you still need help, this is what i am for. I can go in more details and more exercises to bring you at that spot you want to be!
Aurora
After the night comes dawn or Aurora (goddess of dawn) there are still bits of the night, yet bits of the day, but also something new now.
Lights in the sky, as if all has been fused and become complete.
This is the authentic you, the you, who you want to be and who you truly are.
The world is as if it is new for you, the world has changed for you, it has become a place where you can find what you truly desire.
Also the place where you can find pleasure instead of the need to run away from pain. You know now as well that pain is just a part of it and also a part of the true beauty of life.
You may end up losing friends or family members of your new choices, but you know that it sometimes happen and that it is sometimes needed to be able to move on.
Also having dealt with the biggest problems and issues in your past, you feel complete and able to move on and actually complete growing up to an adult.
Also you may have lost some of your special powers, but now you have the biggest one of them all.
You are hacking life, you know that you are following something awesome and bigger than yourself, while having fun doing it! (at least this is how it possibly will feel for you)
Congratulations as well are in place! You have achieved dawn, you have become an true adventurer! Start exploring! Find treasures! Do what you really like to do!
I also need to admit, a lot of emotions are in this post as well, I hope that the ones reading it will use it as well in their own lives.
You all deserve a better life and I also personally believe that everyone can be a hero or even something better than that!