Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park

Neil Young Album Cover Artist Gary Burden Dead at 84 Read article:

taking a different route

Thou art a Wayward, Spur-galled Vassal.

I don’t get people who stumble into mirrors. They need to watch themselves.

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. -Pablo Picasso

Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, "Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!"The girls stop and look at each other. "Well I suppose we could always

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

Yo momma so fat when she was standing on the corner a cop came along and told her to break it up

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

Hear Jason Derulo's 2018 FIFA World Cup Anthem 'Colors' Read article:

taking a different route

Unborn twins are womb-mates.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. -Helen Keller

Boss: (to employee) Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing. Knock, knock.Employee: Who's there?Boss: Not you anymore.

What do you call someone with no nose? Nobody knows.

Yo mama so fat she died

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

See David Byrne Perform 'Everybody's Coming to My House' With Stephen Colbert Read article: