Dead languages have to be encrypted.

The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it. -Richard Bach

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, �"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China as a belt

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Review: Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine Takes Dodgy Stage Dive Into Fame on 'Day 69' Read article:

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Thou art a Clouted, Beetle-headed Lout.

The head of the fisherman’s union didn’t want to rock the boat.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. -Sam Keen

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

laughed harder than i should have

Thou art a Rank, Reeling-ripe Giglet.

A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. -Buddha

Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?A. Because she found out what the big boys eat.

Leather is great for sneaking around because it's made of hide.

Yo momma is so fat that the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.