Shyness How to Overcome It

The bad news: Shyness can cause you to miss out on rewarding friendships and experiences.

The good news: Shyness isn’t always bad. It can help you think before you speak and can make you a better observer and listener.

The better news: Shyness is not a permanent trait, so you can control its negative effects.

First step to take

• Turn the light on your fears
  Shyness can make you dread the very idea of talking to people face-to-face. As a result, you might feel isolated from others, as if you were alone in a dark room. That can be scary. But if you turn the light on your fears, you might see that they are unfounded. Consider three examples.

Fear #1: “I don’t know what to talk about.”

Fact: People remember less of what you say but more of how you make them feel. You can take control of your fear by developing your skill at listening, being genuinely interested in what others have to say.

To think about: What kind of friend do you prefer—a chatterbox who always has something to say or someone who is a good listener?

Fear #2: “People will think I’m boring.”

Fact: People will form opinions about you whether you are shy or not. You can take control of your fear—and help people form a better opinion of you—if you let them see you for who you are.

To think about: If you think everyone is judging you negatively, could you be judging them unfairly by assuming the worst?

Fear #3: “I’ll be embarrassed if I say the wrong thing.”

Fact: At times, that happens to everyone. You can take control of your fear by viewing blunders as an opportunity to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Watch out for part 2