It was a mistake trying to conduct a lecture during an electrical storm—it was an even bigger mistake trying to confront an elemental like Karine Williams.
One sudden flash of lightning and we were thrown together like high-tension wires and that’s when it happened—I discovered I had a deep attraction to her.
We’re clinging to each other on the podium, dazed and shaken by the sudden fury of the storm—the natural one outside, and the storm of human emotions within us.
I’m dazed and shaken, and at the same time powerfully attracted to her. I stare at her lips wanting so badly to crush them beneath mine, but am aware of the students gaping at us as we cling together on the raised platform.
I come to my senses and pull abruptly away.
I manage to call out, “I think we’ll end early today because of the weather. Don’t forget to hand in your papers on the way out.”
Nobody moves or says anything.
Finally, Matt Morton gives a huge sigh and deadpans, “That was intense.”
His remark breaks the ice and the students laugh, and then begin to file out. It’s then I realize I’m standing alone on the platform, feeling bereft and desolate.
Karine has fled, leaving me feeling totally abandoned.
My hands are shaking as I clumsily gather up term papers and shove them into my briefcase.
I drive home in pouring rain, peering through the rain-splattered windshield and seeing superimposed over the splashing streets, a transparent image of her face.
I had planned to head out to the cottage in the morning, but I’m too keyed up. I need the long drive to calm me down.
I stop by my place and throw my packed suitcases in the cab of my F150 pickup, and then point the truck north, trying to put everything else out of my mind.
Of course, I’m soon gridlocked in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but I turn on an FM station, thinking it’ll soothe my nerves.
The soft music of the Thirties works for a while, until a Billie Holiday song comes on, and I come apart. The song is from 1934 and is called, The Very Thought of You.
Fortunately, I’m approaching a highway restaurant and am able to pull off—my eyes are filled with tears.
And I forget to do
Those little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do...
The song gives voice to everything that’s been lying dormant so long inside me, and I realize I’ve been suppressing feelings for Karine. The truth is I enjoyed sparring with her and our verbal jousts—and I looked forward to each class knowing I’d be near her.
Even her negative attention, was proof at least that she was aware of me.
I shake my head, knowing it’s insane. I’m ten years older, and she’s a student, but still, I can’t deny my feelings—and what’s worse, at that moment I realize, she’s the girl in my dreams.
I stop for coffee in the restaurant and stare morosely out the window at the splashing highway and the muffled noises of cars passing outside in the rain.
I had her for a moment, and my body trembles as it remembers.
I want her back in my arms where she belongs, whether or not it’s right or wrong.
O God, I’m rhyming again, but I can’t push the thought away.
I force myself to continue the trek north and get to the cottage at eleven, light a fire and pour a glass of Shiraz.
The rain does its part in lulling me to sleep, but as I’m drifting off, the FM station plays the song again and I’m back in the dream.