― J.D. Stroube
I remember when I was very young staring at my face in the polished stainless steel toaster that sat on our breakfast table and being frightened at my reflection.
I convinced myself I was a monster.
I didn't realize my reflection was distorted as in a circus mirror. I had no idea.
I was disheartened by an illusion and it profoundly affected my self-image. Even now, when women tell me I'm charming or attractive, I don't believe it.
And it's affected my relationship with Cindy.
Cindy's convinced we're soul mates and we were unrequited lovers in a previous life. But me? I think we're star-crossed because we don't match―she's beautiful and I'm a nerd―simple as that.
When she brings up past lives I get scared. I haven't told her but I've always had flashes of images that aren't quite memories, but are moments of significance that trouble me greatly.
Whenever I see houses from the Thirties, I get pangs of nostalgia for a past I don't even have, and glimpses of a life I never lived―at least, as far as I'm concerned.
But the real point is, I'm afraid. I sense there's a stranger lurking within―not haunting my house, but occupying my thoughts.
And now she wants me to dredge up those twisted feelings and resurrect a long-hidden ancestry. But for what purpose?
I love her now. Isn't that enough? As for before, that no longer matters.
As I'm musing on these issues, my cell buzzes and vibrates on the table. I'm tempted to ignore it, but can see it's Nat. He told me about the Iroquois graves―it's not fair to make him wait.
"Hey Prof, how did the Rosens handle the news?"
"Nat, good to hear from you. I wish I had news, but fact is, I couldn't tell them."
"You didn't tell them there are graves in their cellar?"
"Yeah, it's complicated. I told Mitzy there were graves on the land and she said she didn't care. She's convinced Talise Seneca's ghost is hovering around protecting her family and also protecting the Rosens and their children―and she's content with that."
"But what about Abe?"
"She doesn't want to tell him because she's sure he'd relocate the graves to treaty land and in Mitzy's mind, that would be a desecration."
"Phew!" Nat whistled softly. " I wasn't expecting that."
"Neither was I, but it makes sense, more so than other things that have happened lately."
"Oh, oh...are you and Cindy okay?"
"She thinks we shared a past life and wants me to meet her friends who also had a similar experience and even knew her back then. I know this probably sounds mad, but it's real."
"Oh, no need to convince me, Prof―I'm a believer. My friend, Marcus Sterne, had a series of past life experiences . He kept having apparitions of a girl named Lilian Yardley who died in the 1920's but was reincarnated as a local girl, Tess Woods."
"How did that turn out―I mean, what happened to your friend? Did he marry the girl of his dreams?"
Nat laughed, "He did, but it wasn't Tess Woods―it was Sarah Morris, a detective he met. They now live near me here in Waterdown."
"Sounds like Cindy and me. Maybe there's hope for us yet."
"If you go by my experience, you guys are going to be just fine."
After Nat's call, I relaxed a bit. When the topic of past lives first is raised, the whole experience seems daunting, but considering what Cindy and I deal with on a regular basis, it's not all that surprising.
Maybe it's time to take a stand―to confront who I am and who I was.
Perhaps I've been looking at this all wrong, seeing it as a curse rather than a blessing.