think you would get out unscathed?
― Nikita Gill
I woke up in the morning feeling tired and out of sorts. I had a restless night and couldn’t get back to sleep after the nightmare.
The prospect of the three women meeting with sparks flying was really unsettling. It made me wonder if I had really resolved anything or if my heart to heart with Anna was simply putting a band-aid on a wound and hoping it was healed.
I’ve known Anna for ten years—transitioning to a romantic relationship with Carly was bound to take time and there’d be adjustments. It was to be expected. Maybe I was treating things too superficially and my subconscious was sending me signs that there’d be bumps in the road ahead.
I was musing about such things over morning coffee trying to discern if there was a hidden struggle going on inside me. After all, who sits down with a page divided into two columns, listing their plusses and minuses, and tries to reason out which woman he loves?
What happened to trusting my basic instincts and following my heart?
And maybe when I comes right down to it, that's the basic problem. As Carly said, I don’t understand women, so I get what I get.
My cell rings and I jump at the sound. It must be Carly, I smile.
I pick up, however, only to hear Sam Michaels' voice on the other end of the call. I try not to sound disappointed, but I am.
“Have you seen the news or read The Post this morning?” he asks sombrely.
“Not really, I’m too caught up in my own problems to be concerned with what’s happening in the world right now.”
“Yeah, but this report concerns you.”
“Why, what has Zara been up to now?”
“It doesn’t involve Zara—it’s a report on Anna.”
My heart stops and I can hardly breathe. I imagine all kinds of dire outcomes from her being attacked, to her plane going down.
“What happened?” I croak.
“There’s a news item about Anna getting married—to Boris Sanchez, her dancing coach.”
It takes a moment for his words to sink in. She didn’t mention an imminent engagement when we talked last night.
“Are you alright, Mark?” he asks, alarmed by my silence.
“I’m all right, but a bit shocked. I needed a second or two to process what you said. Anna and I talked last night but there was no mention of any engagement—only that she and Boris were a couple—that’s what she was planning to tell me.”
”Oh, they’re a couple alright,” he remarks testily, “ I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t tell you face to face when she had the chance.”
“Yeah,” I sigh,”I kinda feel betrayed—I was honest with her about Carly.”
“Well, maybe we’re jumping to conclusions, there might be a simple explanation and the report may not even be true—it could be just a rumour.”
My cell buzzes and indicates another call.
“I’ll have to phone you back Sam—I have a call—it’s probably Anna.”
“Good luck, Chum,” he sings into the phone as he rings off.
It is Anna’s voice I pick up on, sounding sad and forlorn on the other end of the line.
“I’m so sorry about the news item this morning. Have you seen it?”
“Sam Michaels just phoned and let me know. Is it true?”
She lowers her voice to an almost inaudible whisper, “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”
“I didn’t tell you about it because we hadn’t told anyone. We were in a mall browsing through a jewellery store and laughing about some of the garish rings. Boris asked if I saw any that I liked and I pointed to one and he said to the sales girl, I’ll take it.”
“I was completely stunned, as was she. I had no idea he would do that and she must have recognized us. Anyway, Boris gave me the ring and said, Keep it until you decide if you could ever live with me.”
There was a brief pause and then she said in a contrite tone, “I guess she broke the story to the news. Im so sorry, Mark—the last thing in the world I want to do is to embarrass or cause you pain in any way. I guess I still love you and it’s going to take time for me to work through this change.”
I went silent for a moment and then said, “You know what? I understand—I’m going through something similar. I was musing about my own situation with Carly before Sam told me the news. I really appreciate your phoning to explain. I understand now how it happened and just don't worry about it."
"Thanks, Mark. I still feel bad about it though."
"I wish you and Boris all the best. and keep in touch."
It was a show of bravado on my part, however, because when she hung up I fell apart. It was just too much change to handle and made worse by the fact I hadn't hear from Carly in over 24 hours.
For all I know, she couldn't handle the change either and decided to give me the fade.
It's really true―striving to make things better, we often make them worse. That seems to sum up my life right now.