Took a self-portrait expressing how I felt this past few weeks.
Camera: Sony A500 Lens: Sony 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 SAM DT
But I am determined to keep this one going. So, I'm banging this one out no matter what.
Since my last post, I have been having anxiety, at least that's what I think it was, from writing another post. Some kind of force was keeping from finishing this. It's been sitting in this editing box for over a week and every time I try to finish it, I am pulled away from it.
I think it's the 'P' word.
Yeah. It got me. Again.
I've been trying to deal with it and found some wonderful stick figure drawings by Tim Urban that details what's going on inside my head when I'm doing the deed. Apparently, it's not a dragon, it's a monkey!
I wrote this line last week when I was trying to force myself to push through with writing this post, "I succumbed to my demons. I've spent these couple of days thinking I should be doing something, write a post here, paint a gift for my cousin's wedding, or solve that nested array/objects exercise, but no!"
You know what? I finished just one of those three things I mentioned because...
I've been watching random shit on YouTube.
Again.
As I said before, It's going to be a waste of time if I don't learn anything from it. So, here's what I learned:
Did you know it takes 30 seconds before you completely shut down and go to the other side when your head gets sliced off in the off chance you find yourself in a guillotine? Yeah. The guillotine. Not the 'I tap out!' guillotine.
That info is kinda dark... but it is interesting as well. The last thing that shuts down is your memory cortex, which causes you to run through all your memories. That is why people who had near-death experience see their lives flash in front of them.
Speaking of death, how about if we are now able to cheat it and merge with machines? Can you imagine yourself uploading all your thoughts and memories into the cloud and living virtually? Or having the ability to interphase with a computer and have augmented intelligence? Or be able to speak with another person telepathically through a computer network?
We are heading to some freaky science fiction territory.
I've also listened to ,Moran Cerf talk about hacking into people's brains and controlling their every decision. He is a former hacker turned neuroscientist. It turns out, we are not entirely in control of our wills. There are many voices in our head and there is a battle in there on who will take over our actions, the one that prevails will be our current personality. These battles can be seen and monitored with an EEG and at the right moment, with a zap of electricity, can be altered easily.
Imagine this, you are being asked to decide on certain things, choosing a color, picking a type of food, going left or right, so choose. Having chosen a color, the kind of food to eat, direction to go, you feel that everything you have decided upon is all due to your own will. You felt that you yourself made those decisions and that no one forced you towards a certain path. But then, someone tells you or better yet, shows you that they were manipulating your brain to go with whatever they decided? How would you feel?
I don't know myself what to think about this. I still can't wrap my head around yet.
Here's something a little more positive, these neuroscientists have also found a way to determine the point at which a person will quit. For example, during a marathon or cycling until exhaustion, they have pinpointed signals in the brain that tells them that the person they are testing has decided to stop and quit the exercise.
So, how is this helpful?
Well, for those interested in hacking their performance, when you know when exactly your brain will tell you to quit, you will then know when to take action to keep yourself from making that decision and continue with whatever you are doing. In these experiments that they did, when an athlete was about to quit they were given a signal, a sound or a smell, that tells them to push a little more, to hold on a little longer. By doing so, they were able to push beyond what they were capable of.
When you know how you come up to a decision, knowing the mechanisms and the tipping points where you make those decisions, will guide you in making better decisions. This applies to whatever decisions you make in your life.
Alright, I've been dragging my ass long enough just to finish this. I just need to post this and hopefully get over this fog. It's been a struggle for me but I am learning.
See you soon!
Peace!
