I walked through my front door and found my roommate hadn’t left the AC on with ALL the windows wide open like the last two times. It was a small yet significant joy. I was more thrilled to see he hadn’t left a pile of chaos to force me to think of him. I would’ve done a happy dance but dove into unpacking.
And then the texts arrived. One was an oopsy text.
“Hi, oops. I forgot about the holiday. Stop by tomorrow with xyz. I don’t need anything today.”
But I just drove three hours to return to town... (sigh) I could’ve enjoyed lunch with my brother. I could’ve hung out with some awesome kids that I’m related to. Heck, I could’ve fit in a date or happy hour with friends. And, I would’ve enjoyed a leisurely evening drive with the convertible top down. Instead, I had a steaming hot commute in traffic.
The oopsy text stung.
The second text was from J whom I was looking forward to catching up with but her dog wasn’t feeling well and she had a restless evening the night before. And then a third text arrived and pushed me over the edge.
My student’s competition schedule left no room to fit piano. On her only available day, she had no driver. She had to quit piano lessons.
I felt profoundly sad. Maybe it was from being tired and hot. Maybe I needed a cold beer or chocolate. It surprised me to have a bit of a cry in the mid afternoon. It surprised me to cry at all. It was nice to return home but I guess I enjoyed the buzz of family and could’ve soaked in a bit more fam fam time.
Are my eyes leaking??? It was a foreign moment. A few months ago, I craved a hug after a bad day. Am I getting soft and mushy?
https://steemit.com/solitude/@jnetsworld/i-could-use-a-hug
Tears fell and I felt blue. I watched a funny show, made a meal for myself and went to bed. I didn’t guilt anyone for their texts. They are all good people that I value.
I woke up feeling better. My cousin M called and we enjoyed a good laugh. J texted to say her dog was feeling better and asked if we can have dinner. We made dinner together. I am back to my normal solitude loving self again. I’m writing this post several days after the “crying event”.
Do introverts cry? Yes. In private, for a fair yet small amount of time, and usually without the need of witnesses. No need to soak any pillows, make noses run, or indulge a blubbering story to anyone.
Emotions are wonderful things that can teach and guide. Is it odd that I choose the direction they lead me?
I leave you a quote that I has helped me value emotions and not get hijacked by them.
JNET