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I have been dealing with the "fear to death" thing this year and I would say I'm still dealing with and accepting it.
Is not easy to live being atheists or agnostic, nobody has all the answers to our questions. When people believe in a God that explains everything or that there's life after death... that's is a big psychological trick for the mind, a relief.
Love your post Laura, wish you the best and happy new year.
RE: Am I going to hell?