My new environment, however, was busy with work. I worked for three consecutive weeks, Monday 8 a.m. to Sunday 9 a.m., with at least two sleep-ins per week at the hospital. It was a crazy period for me, and in addition, we were required to read up on topics every day for the following day's morning review. Life and work were busy at the hospital, and immediately, I adapted to stress; unknowingly, it was a false adaptation. I smiled less and always wore a frowning face. Stress was always written on my face, and my ultimate goal was to leave the job. I wrote an examination in April, and surprisingly, I passed! But I had begun reading four months earlier, even before I joined residency. I knew I would not be able to cope and pass the exam if I started my reading under that condition. I checked my weight by May, and surprisingly, I lost 4kg within 3 months. My ribs were visible, and I slept at every given opportunity.
By June, I had taken my entitled one month of annual leave, and guess what I did? I spent the leave in my house, sleeping, waking, and watching movies. When I was asked how I spent my leave, I told them with all confidence that I needed to let them know rest was paramount for me. But July arrived, and the work stress continued. A particular consultant frustrated me during one of the reviews by July ending (on a Friday morning) that I almost wept. But like a miracle, I got an appointment at my current place of work that very weekend, and by Monday morning, I had tendered my resignation letter without remorse. I had always looked forward to leaving the job and even contemplated reverting to a private hospital with lesser pay where I once worked. Anyway, it was good news for me, and I proudly flaunted my new appointment at the consultant that frustrated me despite the toxic working environment.
I remember the consultant saying publicly, in the presence of other doctors who were also junior to me, that she did not like me. Another consultant confronted her about why she made such a statement, and the former responded that I was not too rigorous and active when it came to attending to patients. The consultant who confronted the one who didn't like me told her that I would be a good gynecologist because women like doctors who are patient and would understand them, which she had seen in me. For the first time in my life in the medical profession, I was honored to have been defended by a consultant. My slow living and work were appreciated. I was diligent with my work, and someone silently appreciated and eventually commended me, even after defending me. This was a great gain for me.
My mom reminds me constantly of an adage that, 'any load you can not carry, you should drop it' and perhaps, the residency training was a load I could not carry. The choice was not easy. Here in Nigeria, there is huge respect from the populace for consultants, and even among doctors, there is segregation based on status. My siblings kept asking if I would go back to residency even after I resigned. They did not understand the burnout I experienced while at it; it was slavery, and I got no job satisfaction. My new job is with the nation's health insurance, which requires me to interact with all hospitals engaged in health insurance within my state. At least 90% of hospitals in my state have health insurance, and over the years, I have had personal interactions with the medical directors and even the state hospital where I worked. My relevance has gone beyond just serving humanity within the scope of obstetrics and gynecology, where I began residency, to that of interacting with all hospitals engaging in health insurance in my state. Thankfully, health insurance is now mandatory for all Nigerians and legal citizens, so my position and relevance in the health insurance field would expand further. I have taken up a postgraduate degree to pursue a master's in public health. This way, I'm able to keep up with my medical doctor colleagues while retaining relevance in my job. Being an individual who appreciates colleagues, I have known more medical colleagues who require a form of assistance as regards their health insurance than when I suffered in the state hospital. After my resignation from the hospital, I took a fresh breath by attending a poetry hangout on a mountain. I felt free, and a huge burden lifted off my shoulder. I didn't mind what people said about leaving residency training. I needed my health and sanity in check, and like my mom always advised, 'any load that you cannot carry, you should drop it'. I have begun to live life a little rather than trying to move as fast as life wants me to. My pace and progress is determined by me and not a measure of how people around me view me.
TWO MONTHS AFTER RESIGNATION FROM THE PREVIOUS JOB
My colleagues at work have realized my work pattern. I would do my assignment, especially if it's primary. I don't jump at impromptu work, especially in a bid to satisfy anybody. Taking life slow helps me retain my sanity and mental health. The work always gets done, sometimes later than expected, but I would have saved myself the discomfort in my health and my body by trying to meet up with multiple tasks, especially those impromptu requested. My career path may seem slower than that of my colleagues, but I'm least worried about how far; rather, it's about how well. Slow living gives me more clarity on what I should pursue or leave. My mind is often open and clear, void of troubles and noise that could drown out my sanity.
But, I have a colleague thay works at three different places all because of making money. I'm glad he has multiple income but for how long would he cope with running three jobs and getting home 10 p.m. every day from Monday to Saturday? I could emulate him but I chose not to. I have job offers for my rest periods but what's the gain when I lose my health and sanity in the pursuit of wealth? Of what benefit would my accumulated wealth be when my health is compromised as a result of stress and if I am no more, the next of kin becomes king over my life-earned wealth?
ALL IMAGES ARE MINE
Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.
