做好這5件事，勝過千萬句嘮叨do these five things , nagging is Better then thousand sentences

jingmiao0218(39)

Published in

#cn

Words

4427

Reading

20 min

Listen to this post

~30 min

2018年已經來了，在新的一年裏，如果想培育一位不用時時操心、成長順利的好孩子，我們怎麼做？
你知道嗎？一個有上進心、有分享意識、有平衡生活的能力、有學習精神的孩子，都來自擁有相似素養的媽媽。要想培養一個不用操心的孩子，在新年伊始，不僅要做好孩子的學習計劃，更要做好表率，計劃好以下這7件事。
第一件
做一個愛學習的媽媽
要知道，你沒有學習精神，家裏沒有學習氛圍，孩子出現厭學情緒，是早晚的。孩子也許會頂撞你：“你天天打麻將看電視，憑什麼讓我吃苦受累愛學習？”你看，孩子作為父母行為的鏡子，總是忠實地反映出父母的價值觀。不愛學習的媽媽，難以培養出愛學習的孩子。
楊絳先生曾經說過：女兒錢瑗的功課我和鍾書都沒有管過，但我們一有時間就各占一張書桌。孩子愛讀書的種子，就是父母愛看書的身影決定的。
媽媽愛學習的內涵還不僅在於要吸納自己專業領域的新知識，還在於要從頭開始，學做一個合格媽媽。
教育，往往伴隨著很多困惑、挫折與痛苦，有些媽媽隻要一有苦惱，就寄望於某個專家能給出一包現成的萬能藥，孩子吃下去，馬上什麼毛病都沒有了。這真是一種偷懶心態，下次題目稍有變化，你還是會傻眼。
孩子的個體差異千差萬別，個性、脾氣、心理在成長過程中更是變化多端，所有的教育理念，運用於A身上有很好的效益，複刻在B身上未必會立竿見影。因此作為媽媽，你教育孩子要能結合孩子的成長特點、氣質稟賦活用理論。這都需要學習、思考、反思、領悟。
2018 has come , in the new year , if one wanted to cultivate without worry all the time , the smooth growth of the child , how do we do ?
You know what ? one has the desire to share the sense of balancing life ' s ability to learn the spirit of the child , who moved from the similar accomplishment of the mother . Create a free - for - kids , money in the new year , not only need the child ' s learning plan , and what ' s more , planned the following these seven things .
first thing
do a hard - working mother
You know , you ' re not learning spirit , without any learning atmosphere , the child with emotional school detesting , inevitable at some point . children might contradict you : " you play mahjong every day watching TV , why would I love hardships to learn ? " You see , as a child in the parents ' behaviors of Mirrors , always faithfully reflects the parental values . learning of the mother , and would fail to love a child learning .
Yang Jiang , Mr . : daughter Qian Yuan and me homework book from which the pipes are , but we have some spare time each with a desk . kids love reading seed is parental love reading in front of the figure .
Mom loves the concept also is not only to absorb the new knowledge in their fields , but also need to start over , learning to be a qualified mother .
Education , often with a lot of confusion , frustration and pain , some mother whenever we have the anguish , hope experts can give a bag of ready - made panacea , kids eat , what ' s wrong . It was a lazy mentality , next topic changes a little , you ' ll still dumbfounded .
a child ' s individual differences , personality , temperament , psychological grew up in the wind , with all of the educational idea , applied to have the very good benefit , the retros on the B - body would necessarily lead to immediate . So as a mom , you and your children are capable of binding to the education of her children ' s character , temperament and endowment with the aid of the theory . This requires learning , thought , reflection , insight .

新年計劃：
1、在家庭生活中創造愛學習的氛圍。哪怕沒有書房，也要在客廳、臥室、陽台安設讀書角。經常與孩子同讀一本書，彼此探討看法。
2、多看書。找到教育理論的源頭之後，你能舉一反三，形成自己獨到的教育方法，這就是作為母親教育能力的一個巨大飛躍。
第二件
勇擔責任
孩子出了問題，不少媽媽的本能反應是把責任推出去！在學校，把責任推到老師身上；孩子與其他小朋友有了矛盾，把責任推到對方家長身上；在家裏，把責任推到臨時監護的爺爺奶奶身上——我的孩子多無辜！
當然，事實當然未必如此！那麼，遇事一股腦兒怪罪別人，到底是為了什麼？是不是為了逃避自責，逃脫反省和自我檢討？看看孩子站在一邊心知肚明的樣子，老是推脫責任的你，在孩子心目中還有權威形象嗎？
在日語裏，有一個使用頻率非常高的詞語叫作“責任擔當”，哪怕是店員、清潔工，都把責任二字放在胸口。遇事先從自我檢討開始，先從向別人說“對不起！都是我的責任！給您添麻煩了！”開始。這樣的態度，才成就了一個家庭所有成員的嚴格自律，成就了一個國家的誠信與謙和。孩子，正是得益於這樣的言傳身教，才會成長為一個有責任心、有羞恥心、有自省力的人。
New Year resolutions :
1 , in family life and loving atmosphere of learning . even have them in their living room , bedroom , balcony was installed for the Reading Corner . often with their children read a book , discuss with each other .
2 , read as many books as you can . Find the source of theory education , you can learn to form their own method , and this is the mother of an enormous leap in ability education .
What ' s the second
for responsibility
children out of the question , quite a mother instinct is to put the responsibility on to launch ! In school , put the responsibility on to the teacher ; child with other kids , there were contradictions , blamed it on to the other parent ; At home , put the responsibility on to the temporary custody of grandparents on my kid ' s innocent !
Of course , of course , the fact that this is not so ! Then , when all the blame to others , what is this ? Is to avoid self - blame , escape self - reflection and self criticism ' about ? her child is standing on the side of the elephant in the room and look is the responsibility of you , your child still authoritative stories ?
In Japanese , there is a very high frequency of use of the word " responsibility " , held on for a clerk , janitor , all the words to put the responsibility on his chest . " self - criticisms to him ; he is from the start , and I ' m going to say " I ' m sorry ! It was my responsibility ! Thanks for your trouble ! " started . Such attitude that make a strict self - discipline of all members of the family , the achievements of a country ' s integrity and humility . child , was helped by his words and deeds , and will grow into a responsible , shame , self - saving people .

新年計劃：
1、孩子有了問題，勇於檢討自己的失職。孩子不懂感恩，要檢討自己是否培養了他知恩圖報的情懷；孩子懶惰，要反思自己是否包辦代替太多；孩子任性，要反思自己是否給予了他有求必應的成長環境。
2、自己有不當之處，勇於道歉與改正。有道是，知恥而後勇，當眾道歉往往是領會責任缺失帶來的羞恥感的第一步，這一步不做到位，改正多半是要打折扣的！
第三件
讓孩子為自己負責
“這件事應該這樣辦，那條路應該那樣走”，生活中不乏這樣對孩子每個選擇包辦的媽媽。孩子一反駁，她就說：“我吃過的鹽，比你吃過的米還多！”
這樣喜歡幹預孩子做決定的媽媽，未來會收獲什麼樣的孩子？
一種，是做不好事就怨天尤人、推脫責任的孩子；
另一種，是遇事完全沒有主意的孩子。
未來學醫還是學法律？進大公司還是創新小公司？找A還是找B做女朋友？“等我回去問問我媽看！”孩子這一生，都會是一個惟命是從的、在精神上無比懦弱矮小的人。
在教育學上，有一個振聾發聵的觀點就是：作為父母，其實我們的經驗並不比孩子多一天！比如你的孩子十歲，你做媽媽的經驗也隻有10年而已，並不比他做孩子的經驗更多。
何況，孩子像一棵小樹一樣躥動新芽，他每天都有新發展，應該他自己對生活學習內容做出選擇。他主動做了選擇，就相當於立下軍令狀，他才會對這一選擇做出承諾，才有堅持下去的動力。
New Year resolutions :
1 , those kids have a problem , having the courage to come to terms with its own dereliction . kids are not grateful . To test whether he also was the same for him . laziness , should reflect on whether they are acting on their behalf too ; self - willed children , the need to reflect on their own whether to accede to the demands of his upbringing .
2 , I have prepared myself , an apology and correction . That said , the winners , often publicly apologize to grasp a breakdown of responsibility on the part of the humiliation of the first step , this step is not done , and it is likely that corrections are watered down !
. HITTING
Let the children take responsibility for themselves .
" It ought to be by the door , the road should go " , living in it in terms of children ' s marriages to each selection of the mother . refute a child , she said : " I have , that you ' re eating rice ! "
Such meddling kids make decisions , the mother of the future will be able to harvest what kind of children ?
A . It ' s not good , so he had the responsibility of the child ;
Another , is he had no idea of the child .
Future study law and medicine ? into a big company or innovative small companies ? Find A or B to be a girlfriend ? " I ask my mom to see ! " the child ' s life , and would be a compliant , mentally whose meek little man .
In education , there is a sobering idea is as follows : As parents , we actually experience more than a day ! Let ' s say you have a ten - year - old child , your mother ' s experience has only 10 years old , than do kids experience more .
Besides , kids like the tree the other day . They , like , every day he has new developments , should his own life on learning content . He did the choosing , the equivalent of pledges , will he make this commitment , the only reason for me .

新年計劃：
1、從小事做起，幫助孩子積累在大事上做選擇的勇氣與智慧。到哪裏去旅行、交什麼樣的朋友……這些看似小事，其實蘊含著一個家庭的價值觀。孩子他做小選擇，相當於把這些價值觀深埋，讓它成為孩子心智成長的肥料，等到孩子到了一定年紀，你就可以放心把大事也交給他定奪。
2、當孩子舉棋不定的時候，幫助他一分為二地看問題。在一些重要選擇上，孩子可能經驗不夠，那媽媽可以把選擇的利弊都跟孩子充分討論，然後將正反兩方麵可能產生的影響都告訴他，一起探討，協助孩子做出選擇。
第四件
夫妻關係放在第一位
西方有一句諺語說得好：恩愛的父母，是給孩子最好的禮物。
完美的核心家庭，大家都彼此關照情感的需求，由夫妻雙方與孩子組成一個等邊三角形。等邊三角形的支撐力最強，而一旦媽媽與孩子之間的那條邊特別短，特別親昵，夫妻之間、父親與孩子之間的那兩條邊特別長，特別疏遠，那這個等邊三角形已經變形，它的抗壓力就會變弱。
新年計劃：
1、給予丈夫足夠多的教子時間，並對他給予孩子的教益以極大的肯定。有時候，不如把給孩子開家長會、單獨帶孩子旅行的任務交給丈夫。一方麵讓孩子體會充滿陽剛之氣的教養方式，激發起孩子的幽默與熱情、活力與擔當，另一方麵通過這一方式，讓丈夫成長為合格父親。
2、經常由衷讚美丈夫的長處，展示他的力量與果斷、毅力與恒心，令孩子視其為偶像。這樣做，不但令孩子體會到你們情感的深厚，態度的一致，還把這樣的潛台詞傳遞給孩子與丈夫：“我們是一家人，在你最無助的時候，要記得還有我們無條件地支持你！”
New Year resolutions :
1 , from the little things , to help children accumulate on the big ones , is the choice of the courage and wisdom . Where to go on a journey , friends . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . . these seemingly trivial fact augurs well for the family ' s values . His children do small selection , is the equivalent of these values , and let it become the spiritual growth of the fertilizer , wait for a child to a certain age , you may get the big things and handed it to him .
2 , when the child has time to help him is everything . In some important choices , children may experience it enough , mom can select all the pros and cons of the kids , the full discussion , and then the pros and cons of the possible impact of told him , and together they explored , assisting children to make their own choices .
Four
primacy of the husband
West had a proverb that says loving parents , their children are the best gift .
perfect nuclear family , we all support each other ' s emotional needs , by the spouses and children comprised an equilateral triangle . equilateral triangle of the supporting force is the strongest , and once the mother and child of particularly short , the special intimacy between husband and wife , father and child between the two sides is particularly long , in an even more marked , the equilateral triangle has deformed , its resistance to pressure becomes weaker .
New Year resolutions :
1 , given enough time the husband godchild , and giving a child his lessons to the enormous affirmation . Sometimes , we ought to give the child the meeting and the travel of children alone with the task of caring for the husband . and lets the child experience the masculine way , inspire children ' s humor and passion , vigor , and in this way in the other hand , if the husband , grew up to be a qualified father .
2 , often eager to praise her husband ' s strengths , as he shows his strength and decisiveness , perseverance and perseverance , your child and them as idols . In doing so , it not only makes a child feel you deep feelings , attitudes , and put it in the hands of the subtext to her husband : " We are family , you ' re in the most helpless moment , to remember that we unconditionally support you ! "

第五件
不貶損長輩的教育方式
當年輕媽媽將生活上的很多委屈和壓力，遷移到兩代人的教子分歧上，不感恩老人的付出，不尊重老人的努力，這樣的分歧讓孩子夾在當中無所適從。怯弱的孩子會不知所措，狡猾的孩子就會利用媽媽與奶奶之間的分歧，見風使舵。而敏感的孩子，更會意識到，媽媽對奶奶的各種看不上，就是對他父係遺傳的看不上。
因為從心理學角度上講，否定從繈褓期就帶孩子的血親長輩，就是否定孩子自小的生活環境與養育氣氛，進而否定孩子本身。信口開河對婆婆說三道四的媽媽，一定沒有意識到，當你貶損帶孩子的老婆婆如何無知、怯弱、見識短淺、霸道不講理時，其實也在影射自己的孩子！
What ' s the fifth
non - derogatory being educated by older
When the young mother would be living on the many wrongs and pressure , to migrate to the people involved have a godson of the differences , not to pay the old man ' s thanksgiving , doesn ' t respect the elderly , this chasm ' s a child ' s sandwich . timid and weak - willed children tend to freeze , the wily child would use his mother and grandmother to bridge the divide between the bandwagoners . and sensitive child , the more it is to be appreciated that the various mother Grandma cheapies , is his paternal inheritance of cheapies .
Because from a psychological point of view , negative from infancy children off their consanguinity and elders , is to deny children from childhood environment and nurturing atmosphere , thereby negating the child itself . Grandma , embellishments on the very worst of mother , some don ' t realize , when you disparage children in India and how the ignorant , cowardly , miserable , overbearing and unreasonable when , in fact , there ' s also a sly dig at his own child !