How do you tell someone who’s better than you in every way that you’ve fallen for them?
By not thinking you were some sort of Cupid-shot Shakespeare.
I thought to myself as I trashed my seventh attempt of writing a love letter to Temi.
What if she didn’t like me back?
What if she showed those her friends she always walked with and they laughed at me to scorn?
Or worse, what if she saw that I wasn’t as dexterous and proficient as she was in words and handed me a corrected, more refined version of my letter?
What if she could smell my lack of capabilities a mile off?
What if? What if? What if?
I grunted out my frustration and stood up from my study chair. Hopping into the shower, I let the sting from the scorching spray distract me from my thoughts of her.
How do you tell someone who’s better than you in every way that you’ve fallen for them?
By not being a creep and staring at them every chance you got.
I watched Temi from the corner of the class as she cracked yet another joke that threw those around her into frenzied laughter. She wasn’t loud and she wasn’t rude. Just had that air about her that made you want to remain by her side.
I wanted to remain by her side. Could she see me? Could she feel the depth of my admiration and adoration from across the room?
Could she feel me smiling when she had that mischievous glint in her eye and when her lips tilted to one side that would no doubt look ugly on most people of the world, but was the epitome of perfection on her?
Oops. She caught me staring.
And smiled.
Wait. She was smiling at me?
I gave her my best smile in return and a little wave and watched as her smile waned a bit.
That’s when I looked closer and saw. She’d not been looking at me but the guy in front of me. The handsome Ayo that every girl tripped for. Damn, that was embarrassing. But why did I feel disappointed at the notion that she found Ayo as desirable as other girls did? Who did I expect her to find desirable? Me? I laughed in self deprecation and buried my head in my books.
How do you tell someone who’s better than you in every way that you’ve fallen for them?
By not standing transfixed or stuttering like an idiot the one time she's looking at you face to face.
“Is everything alright, Kachi?” She asked, clearly concerned. Or maybe she was just scared that had she been paired with a complete imbecile for our Literature project.
I began to nod and then caught myself in time. Giving her a shy smile, I muttered a weak “Yeah.”
“Okay, thank goodness. You looked like you’d seen a ghost for a second there. Hope I don’t creep you out.”
I found my voice then and shook my head vehemently. “Of course not. On the contrary I thought I was...”
“You thought what? That you creep me out?”
At my slow nod, she laughed. “Why ever would you think that?”
I chuckled. “I don’t know. Just silly thoughts, I guess." I fought the urge not to look into her eyes. They seemed to draw me in like a relentless magnet each time I as much as glanced at them. Or her cute button nose. Or for heaven’s sake, those lips of hers that went all crooked when she smiled. Before I could hold myself, I said. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
She’d been talking then and I felt her pause and flush to her roots. Looking everywhere but my face now, she said. “Gee Kachi, thanks. That’s awfully nice of you.”
The bell rang then and she looked at me with a smile. “So about the project,” she started as we walked to class.
How do you tell someone who’s better than you in every way that you’ve fallen for them?
By doing everything you can not to mess it up.
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