It has crossed my mind, once or twice, these questions. If my life were a movie, and people were watching, what would they say? How would they feel? Would they think my life to be interesting? Would they think it hopelessly boring, or not worthy of attention? Would they be amazed at how I navigate my life? Would they be irked at my life鈥檚 choices? Would they root for me? Would they find me unlikable like those rare movies where the audience want they main lead to die? Would they like me, and if they don鈥檛, would they at least understand me?
The Ladies of Hive Community asked a beautiful question this week.
If your life had a title like a Netflix series, what would it be?
Well, first off, I don鈥檛 know. Netflix has this way with words when it comes to naming their series. But, I guess I鈥檇 opt for something different since it has to be about my life. I had to do some thinking of how beautiful my life is most times, then dramatic, then tumultuous, then peaceable, then back to chaotic and dramatic, then weirdly uninteresting...at least in my books.
Giving your life a movie name comes from understanding all the nuances in your life. It鈥檚 your ability to be objectively subjective. It鈥檚 putting your life on the scale and thoroughly going through all the phases of your life. The ages, periods, and eras that have characterized your life from the moment you could gain understanding of it till now.
I thought hard about it. Of everything that has happened to me. The people I鈥檝e gained and the ones I鈥檝e lost. The mistakes I鈥檝e made and the wise decisions that also took my life to the next level. The disappointments that completely crushed my heart, and how most of them ended up being blessings in disguise. And all the endless drama I could and should have avoided but indulged unwittingly. And perhaps all the ways I keep trying and failing to blend in. Because I鈥檝e come to realize that I鈥檓 simply not blend-in material. It鈥檚 just not in the cards for me.
I have to stand out.
It鈥檚 like my calling to be in the spotlight. Only, I鈥檝e learnt that it could be for any reason at all. So, since I tend to be in the limelight no matter how hard I try to be a wallflower, I鈥檝e realized that it has got to be for the right reasons. Reasons that would make me feel proud of. Obviously, even the most positive lights would still have negatively speculative commentaries about it. But what I feel on the inside about myself and my choices are what matters, right?
My life is eccentric. Filled with lots of beauty, light, dark, kindness, joy, drama, peace, favour, again a deep strangeness, and love. Lots and lots of love. Sometimes, it feels like an overdose.
So, I chose LUMINOUS.
Luminous is something that radiates light or has a glowing quality. I am filled with light, and I radiate it even when things are dark. Even when I get dark. It鈥檚 strange cause up until the middle of this post, I had another word in mind that I鈥檇 recently learnt. SELCOUTH. It鈥檚 an old English word that refers to something strange yet marvellous. It鈥檚 a beautiful word and describes most of my life but is it Netflix material? I鈥檓 not so sure.
What do you guys think? Which word would suit me better?
Jhymi馃枻
Images are mine.