I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it. After a long laugh at something, you breathe deeply and listen to how you’re feeling internally. For a long time, when I was in my most silent state, with my mind still, that’s when I know if I’m truly happy or not. I thought to myself whether or not I was truly happy. Because why was there this perpetual heat lodged in my chest that sat invincibly. Feels weird but you can only notice it when you truly pay a deeper attention to how you’re truly feeling.
Anyway, I’ve talked about the things that make me happy in the more general sense. Like books, music and being surrounded by nature. But what happens when you no longer derive happiness from the things that used to make you happy? It’s a terrifying phase to be in, when you begin to search anew for things to make you happy cause there’s no longer fulfilment in the practices and activities you once knew.
I faced that recently and thought to myself that if I didn’t find that happiness, I was going to lose myself in a way that may take far too long to recover from. I had to actively search for my happiness. I realized though that the first way is to start from me. And how would I do that? By removing anything that remotely brought sadness to me. In searching for happiness, you can’t afford to entertain anything or anyone that directly or indirectly brings pain to you. So though difficult, I did it. And then I began to feel a semblance of happiness and peace.
I've begun journaling actively again. Both physically and with my phone. I write down tidbits of how my day goes and everything I'm feeling. Whether you’re a fan of writing or not, there’s this sense of satisfaction and relief that comes with penning down your thoughts and feelings. I got this app on my phone that has done wonders in stabilising my moods every day. It’s all about gratitude and daily affirmations that make everything better.
So every morning after mediating, I write down based on the prompt of that day, the things I’m grateful for. I also say my daily affirmations and I’m off to a good start. The happiness I feel comes from within this time because I’m doing it for me. I’m working on myself in a way that brings me utmost fulfilment and from there peace and happiness is derived.
Another thing that has brought me happiness of late is setting goals. Every day, I write little, feasible goals that I hope to achieve. It could be as little as engaging five posts on Hive that day, but at the end of the day, I look at my goals and there’s this happiness I cannot fully explain because not just did I achieve these goals but I'm satisfied in the knowledge that I can do anything if I set my mind to do it. It puts everything into better perspective for me because I realize then that nothing is beyond my reach.
Another daily habit I’ve incorporated in finding my happiness from within is sticking to the happy things. The gift of your own people is something I cannot begin to express. I’ve thankfully been able to surround myself with the best type of people. So everyday, as we plan our goals for the day, or we get to talk about the things affecting us, our feelings and everything in between, there’s this happiness I feel. Having your people who understand you. Who wouldn’t judge you but hold your hand through everything, good and bad, is bliss like no other.
And then, while I’m still reeling from the joy that comes with having my people, I watch the things that put a smile on my face or laughter on my lips or happy tears in my eyes. Whether it’s through hopecore videos or the variety shows from my favourite K-pop groups, or re-watching Kevin Langue videos, I come to understand that peace can be found from any and everything.
Happiness cannot be true if it’s not from the things that truly matter which, first and foremost, is you. Learn to see who you are when everything is stripped away. And might I add that you may not understand how this works or how to achieve this till you’ve experienced true sorrow and pain. But afterwards it’s like a rebirth, understanding yourself anew and pursuing the core things that matter. And I’m grateful to the #KISS initiative that brought this reflective question to light. Continually writing about happiness brings it into permanence and that’s a fact.
Jhymi🖤
Images are mine.
Video sourced from YouTube.