Well, it seems that you humans have gone and really messed up the planet as there is more war and hatred than ever before! So I decided to come back and try to straighten things out a bit and at the same time try to set the record straight about my teachings which appear to have been perverted by Church and State.
Most people today know me as "Jesus Christ". Even though my real name was quite a bit different than that, I kinda like it so I'm just gonna roll with that.
I was born in an area of the middle east just to the south of the Sea of Galilee and to the north of the Dead Sea. I worked odd jobs most of my life - predominately in construction. Many people today seem to think I was a carpenter who built things out of wood but there wasn't much demand for woodworkers in that area in those days. I worked primarily as a stone cutter and helped to build houses and other buildings. I always viewed my work in a philosophical and esoteric manner. The shaping and crafting of stone served as a great metaphor for teaching me about the hearts of men and how they are hardened against the truths of this world and how it is with diligent practice and hard work that we learn to soften and shape those hearts of stone.
As I came of age, I spent time with the religious leaders, learning and discussing topics of the day in the synagogues. Unfortunately many of those religious leaders were corrupted by the crown of Caesar. They merely served as figureheads to keep the people in line with the will of the government. While some people were enlightened and challenged by my questioning, others were put off by it. I found myself fleeing at times, spending much of my younger years in Egypt, living in hiding. But I did venture back now and then to visit friends and family.
Around the age of 30, I had decided to stay in the areas in which I was born. I spoke extensively about liberty, how we only need to follow the law which our Creator has written on our hearts (of stone)... I taught about how there was only one law-giver and that the laws of men were antagonistic to those principles that we are born with. This need to be "born again" spread like wildfire and soon caught the attention of men who claimed to be "authorities".
After only three and a half years, I was arrested and sentenced to death. I was then executed for crimes against the state, even though the state had no evidence against me. The masses called for my execution, and the state complied with the will of the mob.
Since that time, I've not been doing a whole lot- just putzing around in the afterlife. But since the world appears to be on the brink of a nuclear war, I thought I'd come back and try to help avert man's self-destruction.
