Hi Robin, thanks for commenting, and thanks for the encouragement.
I just spent an hour online video with my VA Psychologist, HE is always trying to get me to see or act in a more positive way, but here's the thing.
It is nearly impossible for me to look at things in a positive way, when I am in pain, when I am alone, when I have no friends who want to spend time with me (unless I pay them)
I walk around my place thinking; "Oh man! I need to get this garage fixed so I have a place to work" then I turn around and see the garden that isn't getting planted and think "Damnit, those plants I bought are gonna die if I don't get them in the ground" then I see the potted plants from last year, the ones I can't pick up any longer, and think "Oh MAN! Those things are burning up in the sun, I need to get them moved back to the front"... in short, nothing gets done and I stay depressed.
I am HOPING, no I am Counting on this gig, good or bad to break me out of this cycle. The extra income would mean I could afford to pay people to come and help me do stuff
Love to you and 
RE: Preparing to pick up the music again, a daunting prospect.