I'm just gonna lay this out for you @ceparl
I am 65, I started drinking alcohol at around 14 (snuck my daddies booze at first)
By 16 I LOOKED old enough to buy it legally, and at that age I started Smoking pot.
I began doing "street drugs" about then as well.
At 18, I was driving the family car home from church with mama and daddy with me.
I pulled out in front of an oncoming car I somehow didn't see.
Daddy was severely injured and never came out of Intensive care. He died 3 wks later.
At 20 I enlisted in the US Air Force.
At 23, while on duty INSIDE a Titan IIC nuclear missile silo (I was on combat crew, which meant we stayed there for 24+ hrs) One of my commanding officers (Combat Crew consisted of 2 officers and 2 enlisted) used his rank to intimidate me into an abusive sexual relationship.
Even though I was VERY good at my job (awarded SAC NCO of the month once) the total shame at what I saw as a weakness manifested as GREATLY increased alcohol and drug use.
I had re-enlisted, but I got busted for pot, they tried to give me a dishonorable discharge, but I fought it and got honorable, discharged in 1980
From that point onward was a death spiral of alcohol and drugs, depression and increasing poor health.
I could go on with my laundry list, but suffice it so say I have a LOT OF BAGGAGE.
I have a psychiatrist (a pill pusher) and a psychologist (who I like a lot) both with the VA.
I do not think reading any book any SELF HELP book will do me any good. But I thank you