My story as an immigrant started two years ago when I fled from Ukraine to the United Kingdom. Despite people saying that it’s going to be hard and challenging, I enjoyed every step of it. I’ve been told stories by strangers about people who didn’t fit, couldn’t find a job or a partner. At some point, it seemed that nobody is truly happy abroad.
Was moving a challenge? Definitely. Was it a hard one? I wouldn’t say so. As I’ve started to talk to more and more immigrants during these two years, I figured out that I missed a particular sort of a struggle that apparently everyone I know from Ukraine has experienced. It was the lack of quality communication.
Language barrier had a place in my case, but meeting new people was never a problem. Within the first two months, I met more than 60 people and started shaping my surroundings. I wasn’t great at networking, so it wasn't for my personality advantage. I also realised that most of my friends abroad were surrounded by people who spoke their first language. I didn’t pay attention at first, but the more people started mentioning their circle, the more I was puzzled because it was so different to mine.
So what leads to isolation in immigration? When it comes to moving to another country, it requires stepping out of the comfort zone. If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we will see that ‘Belonging’ would be the third stage right after ‘Safety’ and ‘Physiological’ needs. By Maslow, if an individual wants to take the next step, he needs to satisfy the previous one, in our case ‘Safety’.
Leaving the apartment and exposing yourself to the world means letting go the security blanket. As Keith Ferrazzi said: ‘Every conversation you have is an invitation to risk revealing the real you’, but being fearless won’t solve the whole problem. Some of my acquaintances have fantastic communication skills, but most of them are unsatisfied with their surroundings. They lack people they like.
And then I realised that a cornerstone of my success was a community based on mutual interest. The same day I moved to London I went out to meet people who enjoy dancing as much as I do. Because of a very specific interest, talking to everyone was very engaging. There was no place awkward silence because both sides had common ground and enjoyed exchanging experiences. Undoubtedly, people encounter different mentalities and social norms across the globe, but mutual interest always holds a value.
If you are looking to improving your networking skills you can follow the links below to find videos and books that I find very useful:
'Never Eat Alone' by Keith Ferrazzi
'The Definitive Book of Body Language' by Allan Pease and Barbara Pease
'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie
