A few weeks ago, in Ecuador, I met a beautiful and graceful woman. He had heard her name, but never had the privilege of meeting her in person. She is simple and unpretentious, soft voice, and calm temperament - besides, I saw and heard that she is a hard, wise and faithful woman. She and her husband reminded me of the title of a book by Eugene Peterson, "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction" - because that's how the lives of both have been: years and years of faithfully obeying the God they love and serve.
One day, this woman said something that impressed me and spoke to my heart. We were talking about the apostle John, and she commented that he always referred to himself as the disciple "whom Jesus loved" (John 13:23; 19:26; 20: 2; 21:20). That was his hallmark: the disciple whom Jesus loved. His characterizing attribute was not who he was in himself, nor everything he had done or accomplished. No: his uniqueness was simply to be a disciple who was loved by Jesus.
Can I say the same about myself? Not only in my head, but knowing and believing it in the depths of my heart? Am I the woman, the disciple, whom Jesus loves? Not for how wonderful I am, nor for all the wonderful things I do. Simply because: because God has chosen and chosen to love me with an “ahabah” love, and because he still loves me with a “chesed” love, a committed and faithful love. I, Beverly, am the disciple whom Jesus loves. Point. It's the only thing that matters - it's the only thing that counts.
I remember the daisy - it doesn't matter at all with which petal I stay at the end of plucking them all: each petal - yesterday, today, and forever and ever - is a "Jesus loves me".
And I want and I want to live my life fully aware of that love that He has for me - and that this love is, not only for the apostle John, but also for me, the hallmark of my life.
As it is for the woman I met in Ecuador, for Marilyn : "the disciple whom Jesus loves." Thank you, Marilyn, for what you taught me - thank you, for the person you are.
(To understand the “ahabah” love and the “chesed” love of God, read two of my reflections on the days of Lent, Days 21 and 22, which speak on that subject.)
