They say you have fallen in love with her at a young age.
She's smart, beautiful, and empowered. You're just the typical guy whose charm gets the eyes of many girls but you loved her and she loved you. That was the start of everything.
Under the ringing bells and in front of everyone who loves you both dearly, she swore her love for you and you did, too. She had given birth to a boy and then next, to a girl. You've stayed and cared for them for three years until you went away.
Your son and daughter got their first scars, first medals, and first crushes. They built friends and walls around them. They had children fights and first communions. But you weren't there.
They got hurt and fell in love. They made bad and good decisions. They got their diplomas and earned their degrees. But you're not there to witness it. Not even from faraway.
You weren't there when they worried so much because she was sick. You weren't there to comfort them or assure them that you're there for them. That it's okay to let the hurt go because you're going to protect them.
You weren't there when she was in pain. You weren't there when she died. You weren't even there during the funeral.
It's not that you couldn't. It's just you wouldn't.
It's not that there's something stopping you. It's just that you don't care anymore.
After two decades, when they are already building their own lives. When they got their first jobs. When they've moved on. You just ease your way like nothing happened.
You talk like it's just yesterday that you've left them. You weren't there when they were sick. When they were feeling envious at complete families. Yet you're here and you act like it's okay.
It's not.
They are willing to forgive you but you're not trying too hard.
All you have are excuses but excuses can't bring her back to life nor can it undamaged their hearts.
However, there was one thing that they are thankful for - it is that without you, they wouldn't be born. They wouldn't have experienced the joys of love and life. They wouldn't have felt the magical ways of the world that despite the hardships...despite the falls and scars... despite of it all, they lived.
Thanks to you.
It would have been wonderful for you to witness them grow as they grew very well but you weren't there.
Looking at it now, maybe, it was for the best.
