It is fun to think that the first memory I have of a dream is in fact a nightmare, that eventually, would become a sleep paralysis. Even now if I close my eyes I can see it, a younger version of me, smaller and still innocent. Sitting on the edge of the bed, the feet did not reach the floor, could not even exceed the limit of the bed itself.
In front of me a door, on my lap a toy, a white electronic keyboar, my hands rested on it, and although they weighed a little, I began to play the musical scale, from the A to the G, then from the G to the A, increasingly slower, heavier, the melody became increasingly low and a little distorted.
Somehow I noticed a foreign sound, oblivious to the melodies of that toy piano, this new sound came from behind the door that was right in front of my bed, I looked up to see if someone was about to enter and listened to the musical scale of the piano again, but I did not touch it this time, on my lap it followed the same sequence that I had started (A - G / G - A) slower, noisier, heavier, more low, more distorted.
I began to feel scared, empty, cold, barely breathed, when it finally reached the end of the sequence ( I still hear that G rumble in my mind, a sound so strong and distorted that it became unbearable) the door began to open and then it was when I woke up.
But I woke up to realize that I was lying in bed, stiff as a plank, immobile, I could hardly breathe and as if I knew it, I looked towards the door... it was wide open, nothing but complete darkness was behind it. I started to fight, I wanted to escape from that state of danger, I could not even move a finger only my eyes were able to move, and then, I understood it, what caused me terror, what I was expecting to enter from that door, was always next to me ... Smiling.
Sleep paralysis (Let's call it SP) occurs when the body and mind are not well connected. What does this mean? During the REM Sleep phase we usually dream, while our body is completely paralyzed, as the muscles are extremely relaxed. Glycine and the GABA are chemicals that the brain produces to achieve this "paralysis" (perhaps to prevent us from doing what our dream is going through and hurt us somehow) SP is an intrusion in REMS: if we wake up before it ends, the body does not recover normal function synchronized with the mind. In other phases of the dream this does not happen, except that an inopportune disconnection occurs.
First of all, during a SP you wake up, but you realize that you can not move your body. You may also feel you can barely breathe and sometimes you can have hallucinations (Yay!) I assume you have heard about "the myth of the incubus and the succubus" In a sleep paralysis you can feel that you are about to die (What a dramaqueen -_-) or the sensation that an evil presence is watching you (like a psychotic stalker) even in some episodes the sensation of falling, floating or dissociating from the body may be felt.
MY RECOMMENDATIONS.
It is worth mentioning that I do not have a degree in psychology or a postgraduate degree in neurology, so I am not an expert in the fields of the mind and the brain. If you have not had a sleep paralysis and are afraid to have one tonight after reading this entry, as an expert with these experiences, I will discuss certain methods to "treat" SP, which have worked for me, I mean, I do not avoid them but I can control them and in some way the experiences are not so terrifying and long-lasting (I usually let them follow their course but sometimes I avoid seeing "certain things") if on the contrary, you are one of the lucky ones, those who suffer from sleep paralysis constantly (like me!) and you want to end them, I'm sorry but I do not think these recommendations will help you, seek medical help, again, they are the experts in matters of the mind, not me.
If you have a sleep paralysis with your eyes closed do not try to open them! Believe me, seeing what could be right in front of you could make everything worse.
When you meditate and breathe consciously, you focus on your breathing, on the temperature of it, you can control the level of anxiety and stress. With that been said, when you suffer from SP remember those exercises, they will help you to stay calmer so you will wake up faster.
Fighting will only make you despair and make you feel tired afterwards, I understand that our human defense mechanism is to run when we are in danger but it is not necessary to do it here, as I told you before, calm down and breathe, it will pass.
It sounds silly but when you try to ignore what happens during SP it will make you wake up faster. So go to your happy place while your mind tries to torture you at the same time :p
Again, these recommendations are not something that you should follow but they have worked for me, they are the things that have helped me all these years, personally the SP seems interesting to me (terrifying, yes, but it is incredible the power our minds have on our bodies) and if you really want to change this type of experience, seek professional help, I suppose the doctors will know how to fix you.
Thank you for reading this as well. Good night!
