Quality of life...

“To live well, one must live unseen.” ― René Descartes

I never had time for “holiday” in my life – I didn't take “a year off” or loaf around watching the clock tick by – it is just not who I am. I successfully managed to worm my way out of my “first ever fail” in school - left, went to college - loved it and excelled, graduated early December two years later, had a job lined up for Jan and the train has not stopped since. Hopped through a couple of jobs and finally gave my last the middle finger in 2000 – that was when the real work began. Determined is probably a slight understatement for my character dynamic. A little bit of a double edged sword really – but it is what it is, isn’t it?!

”Become your own boss” they said ”it will be fun, they said!” pretty much sums up the next 17 years of my life… hahaha!!! I am kidding! Yes, it was hard… no, let me rephrase that – it was FUCKING HARD WORK!!! - BUT, I loved every minute. No – that is a lie, because there were some pretty shitty times along the way, but I did – LOVE IT!

I had a small concern in the grand scheme of things, but 99% of business is done online these days so 99.9% of your success can be attained by how you present yourself online. I was good at that – very good in fact, so my “small concern” became one of Cape Town’s most fondly spoken of below the line print businesses… and anybody who has ANY real experience in the corporate world will educate you with the fact that word of mouth is not only the most POWERFUL form of advertising but also the most difficult to attain. My team and I achieved it, surpassed it, lit that shit on fire and roasted marshmallows for everyone!

It was go go go go ALL the time!!! 160+ walk in clients per day front of house and 10k+ back-house production clients per month. It was FUCKING AWESOME… BUT, it left me nothing for myself! Literally… nothing! I am the kind of individual that will keep on, keeping on – to my own detriment – and that is precisely what I did. A bottomless coffee is never really bottomless – there always comes a point when you simply cannot stomach anymore. I reached that point! I didn’t want to even LOOK at a design brief, say hello to people that knew me or even open my email. My ENTIRE being went into “system shut down” and ALL I wanted to do was ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Our egos are utterly convinced that ‘quality of life’ is found in the ‘domineering of life.’ And a very simple way to effectively destroy the whole of your life is to live by this for the smallest part of your life.” ― Craig D

I did – escape. Been a few years, now, I find myself here… In the middle of “nowhere” almost, and you know what… I love it!!! I would not give you thank you to go back to the city which I have literally spent my entire life in! Sure… it is beautiful and yes there is so much to see and do, but the reality is – I saw and enjoyed very little of it, not unlike 80% of the rest of the population! City life is a master at consuming you! You are always “busy” yet you achieve very little of substance and still end your days feeling like a flat fucking tyre.

Perhaps it is my age creeping up on me which makes me think about such things, but ALL I want in my world now is a life of quality. I no longer give a shit if I look like yesterday’s breakfast when I go into town to the shops, I literally live in old denim shorts, slip slops and shirts with fish moth holes in them. My hair has not seen a hair dresser in years, my hands and feet are no longer manicured and it does not matter to me in the least. I used to put a FULL face of make-up on every single day of my life… you are LUCKY if you get a stroke of mascara out of me these days and you know what… I love it, because it is so much FUCKING simpler!

I don’t actually care what other people think of me anymore and that feels so damn good! So, in a nutshell – for the first time in my ENTIRE life, I am REALLY becoming comfortable in my own skin, seeing life from a meaningful perspective and taking time out for the things that TRULY matter! It took 40 years… but I reckon I still have a bit of mileage on this clock, so it’s all good!