Leveling Up - The Human Version.

It’s funny really, how your priorities and perspectives change as you get older. Things that mattered enormously at a different time in your life suddenly become of no consequence whatsoever. I can recall in my much younger years listening to the likes of my parents and other family members such as aunts and uncles have discussions about just this – laughing at the fact that they would not give thank you to be 20 again, or even 30 for that matter. The conversations were always illustrative of their general contentment for where they currently stood in their lives.

Being a few decades younger than them, I never really understood it. I do now, but I didn’t then. I had different priorities and objectives at that point – none of which matter to me anymore I will add… but I suppose I always just looked at them somewhat perplexed by the fact that they were happy to be, well… OLD! I still wanted to conquer the world and nothing was going to stand in the way of me getting there! Life has a pretty twisted sense of humour and plenty stood in my way, lol! I could probably successfully get away with comparing my life to an endless game of dodge ball if I am honest, haha! In fact – I don’t doubt that there are plenty others out there who would share similar sentiment.

The age old question which has not only a childhood version ”What do you want to do when you grow up” but an adult version too ”where do you see yourself in five years?” comes to mind. I don’t think I was ever able to answer the first – it was just not something that mattered to me as a kid. I suppose I had dreams… I would love to have been a singer – that is one I can remember… but I mean, what little girl doesn’t want to be a famous singer at some point in her life. I know I added many moments of torture to the lives of my brothers with my “Barbie and the Rockers” cassette and even more in later years as I would bellow over my mom’s Jennifer Rush LP… but a singer, I never became… a tragedy really, lol!

As for the adult version of that question – I suppose I had a little more direction by the time I was ever asked that question ”where do you see yourself in five years?” which as we all know, is normally proposed by a potential employer. At that point I had a very definitive answer. He was the boss and I wanted what he had. Well, actually – as I have mentioned previously my answer to him was “in your chair”. No, it did not pan out quite like that – I ended up opening my own business in the same industry – but I guess that counts as the same thing really.

Twenty years later and I will say with strong conviction… he can keep that bloody chair, haha! It was a good innings but I don’t want it anymore. My life has changed and so have I. My priorities are different now. In my mom’s last years, I noticed how she simply denied any and all negativity into her immediate sphere (if she could help it)… sometimes to the point of wearing pink shaded blinkers. She would say to me ”Life is too short to fill it with animosity and bitterness Jaynie and one day, when you get to my age you will learn to cherish and appreciate the beauty of the smaller and simpler things in life”. Admittedly, the age at which she began uttering those words to me (because it happened more than a handful of times) I was already at an age and stage in my life where I held appreciation for them – and still do.

The other day, I was having a conversation with someone and we were discussing relationships. The statement of “I don’t have time for that stuff anymore – I am too old” was made in reference for trivial bickering between a couple. Hearing that reminded me of a quote I have often crossed paths with…

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who do not. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” ― José N. Harris

And that is PRECISELY it! I too, no longer have the time, energy or space in my world for any rubbish and you know what… it feels so good to finally reach such a point - a point where you can actually just walk away from all of it. It IS actually a choice, but it takes most of us a near lifetime to figure that out! In a phrase, it is pretty much like “levelling up” – the human version. I have no interest in entertaining any of it anymore and I know I am better off for it!

I may not have conquered the world, or become a famous singer but I conquered my own world – my own road and I did it to the best of my ability, always… but it is time for a new chapter and change. I have no interest in whether Kanye and Kim are getting divorced (well I never really was interested in that crud), I don’t care if certain people don’t like the who I have become – I have enough people in my life that count and do! I am not fazed by politics (of any kind) – because I can’t change any of it, so why would I consciously choose to fill my mind and time with such burdens. I have accepted that my days of sporting bikinis are pretty much done and I will rock that one piece because I have nothing to prove to anyone. In short – a whole lot less fncks are now given all round for BS that is really of NO consequence in the grand scheme of things!

I, just want to be happy. I want to live my life and revel in the moments that DO actually matter. I want to surround myself with people who are on the same page as me and have discussions with them about how happy I am with the wisdom and where of my life right now and the fact that I am getting – yes… OLD, haha!

❤❤❤

Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea