So much truth. I completely get what you are going through. I spent most of my life shunning the kinds of corporate jobs that I was certain would make me feel trapped, and instead working for myself, working on a contract basis, and filling in my income by working in restaurants. Finally, about 12 years ago I decided that I had to get serious about income and took a dreaded corporate job. It has solved some things, of course (that’s the cool thing about a steady income and paid healthcare), but at the same time my desire to be retired and done is ratcheting up daily!