Welcome to the 50-Word Short Story challenge. If you're new here, welcome! Be sure to read the work of the participants, and if you're so inclined, try the challenge to write an entire story in just 50 words.
Fifty Worders, please be sure to check out the writing workshop this week, which includes an editing process with @tristancarax, a participant who was willing to be my guinea pig and allow me to make suggestions. If you have an interest in getting some editing help on your story, please let me know. You can see how the process worked on his story.
Note: I'm assuming this won't be a wildly popular option. I can probably help one or two people per week, given my time constraints.
Here's how it worked. First, @tristancarax worked on his story on paper, and submitted his second draft.
From the images he included, and the additional backstory he included in his story post, I saw that the story was about a baby elephant. But he had not actually mentioned that in the story. I also made a few additional recommendations to help clarify the perspective and improve the overall quality of the story.A Baby Sold into Slavery Snatched at a young age; then, sold into the chains of slavery.I once drempt of breaking free; that, beaten out of me.
Fear moved in where love once resided. My mother faded into an abyss of broken memories.
I performed laborious tricks for a fee; bringing uninformed people glee.
Tristan made some changes based on those comments.
I thought this version showed a lot of improvement. Now we know the story is about a baby elephant sold into slavery. I liked the rich language and the writing was much stronger. I suggested that he needed to improve the first sentence, which was not a complete sentence, and that he might consider not using a rhyming scheme, which seemed kind of "cute" for such a serious topic.A Baby Sold into Slavery A baby elephant snatched and sold into the chains of slavery.He marches back-and-forth. The cracking whip's stinging lashes crushes dreams of breaking free.
Mother fades into an abyss of broken memories. Fear moves in where love once resided.
He performs laborious tricks for a fee; bringing uninformed people glee.
He edited the story once more, and we agreed that with the last edits he had a very nice final draft. Please see the story highlights below for the final version.
For the final story, see the highlights below.
Okay, let's survey the 50-word stories from last week!
Here is the complete list of stories inspired by last week's “remember” prompt. I hope you will read them all:
Roger, a baby elephant, is snatched and shackled down with chains. He marches back-and-forth.The cracking whip's stinging lashes crush dreams of breaking free. Mother fades into an abyss of broken memories. Fear moves in where love once resided.
He performs laborious tricks, delighting uninformed people daily for a fee.
“Why the hell hasn’t he gotten out?” I thought as I watched through the rain spattered window. “He’s been there forever and hasn’t even unbuckled... is he going to pump his fuel or not?” I sighed with impatience. That’s when I saw him sobbing.
He remembered being a kid. He remembered graduating.He remembered his first salary.
He remembered his first house.He remembered falling in love.
He remembered the beautiful holidays.He remembered his children smile.
He rem.....
He stopped ...
Stopped remembering.Beep Beep Beep Beep
flat line.........
The pain is still raw, like sandpaper on my heart. The memory of her lifeless body abounds.I see her in girls her age.
What would she look like?
How soft would her voice be?
It pains me to remember, but how could I forget?
My baby girl, my angel.
Jim no longer had any memory of his children or his beloved wife of 30 years; the disease had taken it all. But somehow he remembered the location of the gun cabinet, how to load the bullets and how to put the gun against his head and pull the trigger.
Like people going in and out of the blue. Like buildings. Like trees.Like scenes from my hometown, like childhood it seems to be lost. But at times it will clear the way fogs disperse. To reveal something vivid. Something that was. And it still means happiness. Or it hurts.
Her lips imbibed on the chipped old mug she found with a deadly concoction. Her eyes told the story of hopeless love, blinked away. In her laced stupor, she plummeted to the floor. It welcomed her harshly. She begged the cosmos up above to make inamorato a less conscious memory.Great work, everyone!
I look forward to reading your stories, Fifty Worders!
Here are some creative commons and public domain image resources:
@ablaze,
@agmoore,
@ahmadmanga,
@akdx,
@aksounder,
@aleli,
@alheath,
@amelin,
@andersonrivas,
@anikekirsten,
@anixio,
@anutu,
@aresbon
@bex-dk,
@bimjer,
@blueteddy,
@botefarm
@caleblailmusik,
@calluna,
@carn,
@cheekah,
@cizzo,
@clacrax,
@creatr
@damianjayclay,
@dbzfan4awhile,
@deigoam,
@deirdyweirdy,
@diebitch,
@dirge
@eaglespirit,
@elbrujo,
@elementm,
@emergehealthier,
@erh.germany,
@esttyb
@felixgarciap,
@felt.buzz,
@four20,
@foxyspirit,
@frankie-nero,
@fromage,
@frizzy
@gaby-crb,
@girlbeforemirror,
@gmatthe2,
@goastrighter
@hamg96,
@hebrewhousewife,
@henry-gant,
@hlezama
@iamthegray,
@intothewild,
@isa93
@jadams2k18,
@jasminearch,
@jayna,
@jewlzie,
@jonknight,
@kaelci,
@khadija14,
@kimberlylane
@lahvista,
@lightoj,
@lucylin,
@luiskrupaz
@manoldonchev,
@marciabon,
@marie-jay,
@madly,
@michaias,
@mineopoly,
@mizdais,
@momzillanc,
@mydivathings
@paintingangels,
@papacrusher,
@pizzachain,
@poetrybyjeremy,
@preparedwombat,
@prydefoltz,
@purpledaisy57,
@pyrowngs
@ravencorinn,
@rensoul17,
@riottales,
@roxy-cat,
@rvag5
@steemgiant,
@steemitdiversify,
@sue-stevenson,
@swizzyl
@tanglebranch,
@thatlovechild,
@theironfelix,
@therosepatch,
@thinknzombie,
@tristancarax,
@tuwore,
@tygertyger
@vaitelavicius,
@vdux,
@wems,
@yeceniacarolina,
@zen-art
Thanks so much for reading! I hope you try the Fifty-Word Challenge. It's so fun to see what can unfold in a mere 50 words!