My first post and it's going to be a personal one!
What do you do when life throws you lemons? The obvious answer is...make lemonade, right? Sometimes, it's not that easy is it? Sometimes when life throws you lemons, they are thrown so hard they hurt!
For me, 2017 threw a lot of lemons. A lot! I made it through, but I still have some bruises.
You see, my husband and I have been trying for almost two years now to have our second child. We succeeded in April of 2017 only to find out very early on that it was an ectopic pregnancy. Luckily, it was caught early and I was able to survive and keep my tube. However, the process of it all was simply one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. Except I didn't mourn immediately. I had the surgery, my scars healed and off I went with my life. About 2 months later, I was at the point where I didn't even want to get out of bed. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement. I realized that if I didn't take the time to get myself together, I was headed down a dark spiral I had no intention of entering again. I knew I had no choice but to fix it. And soon.
So, I embraced the pain. I cried and I cried. Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore...I cried again. The pain was real and it was raw and ignoring it was getting me absolutely nowhere. I did something that I so rarely do - I looked my pain right in the face and didn't stop until it was gone.
I took "me" time. I allowed myself the time to simply be sad. What I went through sucked. No, it wasn't the worst situation someone can deal with. After all, I'm alive. I have a beautiful family. A loving husband and a solid job. But what I went through was awful. And pretending it wasn't and not taking the time to accept it, would have been unfair. I was mourning a loss and when someone goes through that, they need time.
But not too much time...
So I got back up. I'll admit, I wasn't sure if I was ready to get back up. But there came a point when I realized that my life was more than just my problems. It was simply something that happened to me and it was time now to move forward.
It wasn't easy but I had to figure out what I was grateful for right now and focus on that.
I drank the lemonade. I drank more lemonade then I ever want to drink again. Although I suspect that I'll be served another round at some point in my life...I'll be sure to bring a bigger glass with me next time!