Dear Lesbian,
I'd like to politely explain that the GRLGBT community does not exist and "hate laws" are a form of classism. Furthermore, the GRLGBT community is actually a religion and our hate laws and state initiatives have violated the separation of church and state. Finally, I'll propose that sideboob is massively underrated and sexism is an effective lever used by both sexes to make the world taste good.
Gay trumps not gay. Race trumps gay. Gender trumps race. Just like poker, your entire hand counts so a gay minority would trump a non-gay minority. But if you look at each tier it is based on three scientific properties:
Tier 1.) Gender
Tier 2.) Race
Tier 3.) Gender/Genitalia Prejudice
The American GRLGBT community has developed for itself a special class of citizen that has its own rights and privileges. Joining this class requires two things. The first requirement is a specific type of genitalia. The second requirement is a specific prejudice for or against genitalia. Let's explain more with the first example...
Lesbianus Anti-Erectus - The common household lesbian has two defining traits.
1.) She has female genitalia
2.) She is prejudiced towards female genitalia
That's it. These are the prerequisites for entry into the class of "lesbian." Joining this class happens when someone identifies as a lesbian. She has given a part of herself to a class and when she looks at the class, she sees herself in reflection.
But a class only exists in plurality. It is the opposite of "there can be only one." You cannot be the only lesbian. It exists in statistic only. You cannot put a lesbian under a microscope and find "the lesbian" inside of someone. Joining a special class is a choice of identity. It's a part of the inside clinging to something outside. Lesbians believe a part of them exists outside themselves, in a class that does not actually exist. Claiming the identity of "lesbian" is the absence from self. It is literally being a non-self.
Now, it gets tricky because identifying with someone without tangible objective evidence is a belief structure. This is religion. This could only be tolerated or classified by our democratic community as a religion because the proofs defined by the class are unmeasurable and subjective. Lesbianism is a religion of female genitalia.
This means it cannot be sanctioned by nor oppressed by a state institution or government organization. This group violates the protection of individual rights which inalienable, and protected by our constitution. Furthermore, any law which caters to or discriminates against a class or group of people is unlawful and void as specified in the first amendment.
Why am a I picking on lesbians? Two reasons really. The most obvious is that if I were to be writing about a gay female minority you would consider this piece completely unacceptable. Second, is sideboob.
If you are a lesbian, I don't feel sorry for you. You have your own sideboob. Two of them, to be precise! You get to seduce yourself anytime you want. You can brush the top of your knuckles gentle beneath the flowing crest of a fleshy mountain on 24/7 on demand. You are a self-powered perpetual stimulation machine. Furthermore, you have chosen to selfishly partner up and prevent this wonderful gift away from being shared with those less fortunate. You are sideboobie selfish and society doesn't appreciate it.
While I will defend to the death your right to practice sideboobery, i cannot stand while my fellow men watch you mishandle this great responsibility. When it comes right down to it:
Women are cups.
Men are swords.
Women who bear swords die of hunger.
Men who bear cups die of thirst.
Lesbians of the world. Open your sideboob up to the community. Let your fleshy lighthouse shine forth for men who are lost at sea. If you want to celebrate sideboob with other women, at least record it so that others may share in the splendor. We love women and sideboob. We could use your cleavage now more than ever.
