It's 4.22am.
My mind is restless as it grapples with the past & the future.
Time travel is a bitch.
I was planning to go jogging earlier in the evening. Time decide to run away from me before I had a chance to.
My foray into Splinterland pack purchasing, card opening & daily questing while listening to some live chats, really ate my time.
My son has an open day tomorrow later today. It will be at my old high school.
That brought back the past. The school's Principal is my old maths teacher some 37 years ago.
She was a tough teacher. A cute teacher. Then her last name changed as she got married. Then she got nasty for a while. Then her last name went back to her original name. Afterwards, we used to call her a witch for all the times she would be angry.
But that was a long time ago. A different time & a different version of me.
Along with that comes a tsunami of old memories.
My anxiety for the future comes, partly from tomorrow's event, but also for events that are coming up.
I have decided not to take the currently popular pharmaceutical drug.
That, with our current govt mandates, means I cannot attend the school visit with my son. My brain runs through the different options; passive and aggressive ones.
My natural response is to avoid confrontations. Being ostracised from parts of society has been enlightening, especially, gaining empathy for the struggles of all kinds of people.
I have access to pro choice lawyers, to protest groups, and so on. However, that would cause unnecessary stress on others. I don't want that. The burden of truth will sort things out.
My other anxieties stem from time allocation. Alot of my day to day is waiting. Taking the kids to and from school. Being attentive to my domestic life. My windows of time are restricted - bound by parenthood.
I have opportunities to do other things, if I wasn't bound. Holding my breath doesn't help. Remembering to breathe does help.
Also, I have a work opportunity in a couple of weeks. It will be fun but I need to be out of my shell after being in a more conservative persona for way to long.
Also, a friend is developing a block of land. It is an exciting project. But it's 4 hours drive away, with petrol costs and my time constraints, then I can't participate.
So, in my insomnic brain sandstorm, I just float along, write this post, and contemplate jumping in the shower.
It.is 4.45am.
Good morning! 😃
