Q: What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with

Q: What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' A: A desserter. ' Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' A: It's always 90 degrees. ' Q: How does a

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? ' ' ' ' A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus ' ' ' ' Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? ' ' ' ' A: He was just going through

What do cats like to eat for breakfast? ' ' ' Mice Krispies. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? ' ' ' The purrpatrator. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? ' ' ' An eskimew!

Knock Knock Who's there? Razor! Razor who? Razor hands, this is a stick up! Knock Knock Who's there? Adore. Adore who? There's adore between us, so how can you here me? Knock knock Whose there? I eat mop!

1: Which type of vegetable tries to be as cool as a cucumber, but is only partly successful at it? ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; The radish. 2: The world champion in tongue-twisting just got arrested. They're gonna

How do astronomers organize a party? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' They planet. Why can't you trust an atom? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Because they make up everything.

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and

Where did the sheep go on vacation? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' The baaaahamas

A Father buys a lie detector that makes beep sound when it detects a lie. His son comes home at the usual time after school. He askes: “So, you were at school today, right?” Son: “Yeah.” Detector: “Beep.“

How did the hipster burn his tongue? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? . . . . . . . . . . Because their always spotted.

Man: Hi, do you want to dance? ' ' ' ' ' Woman: Yeah, sure! ' ' ' ' ' Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your hot friend.

Patient “Can I take a bath with diarrhea?” ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Doctor: “Yes, if you can fill it up. “

What’s the worst thing about being lonely? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Playing Frisbee.

Why don‘t cannibals eat divorced women? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Because they’re bitter.

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' There wasn't any chemistry.

Husband: “My wife suffers from a drinking problem.” . . . . Husbands friend: “Oh, so she is a alcoholic?” . . . . Husband: “No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”

What did the letter O say to Q? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dude, your dick is hanging out.