Answers to questions I wish people would stop asking
No, I probably haven't read that. Not even the most dedicated bookworm can read everything here. And no, I don't get to read while on the job.
No, I can't make the internet faster.
No, I don't know which book that is. You need to be more descriptive than "It was about a guy a long time ago, and I think the author's name was John... something or other."
No, I'm not going to pull that from circulation because it offends you. Keeping things available anyway even though other people dislike them is one of our main purposes.
No, I can't log into your online banking account for you. No, don't tell me your passwords and social security information. Do you have any idea what information security means?
No, I officially have no opinion about [political or religious issue] whatsoever while I am on the job. if I am wearing my badge, I am officially a neutral party.
No, I don't know the title of the next book in that series. Yes, I need to look it up on the catalog computer. No, I still can't make the internet faster.
No, you can't play a DVD in a CD player.
No, these books are not for sale.
No, I can't look up which books you read 6 months ago. Our system is actually designed to protect your privacy, and that means we can't see what you have read once it's been checked in.
No, I don't know for sure that the NSA doesn't have a back door to override that privacy protection policy.
No, I can't help you download torrents.
Answers to questions I wish people would ask
Yes, taxation is theft. Yes, it is immoral to fund even worthwhile institutions like a library through theft.
Yes, libraries have been funded without theft in the past, and even now there are libraries funded without theft.
Yes, I can provide the contact information for the library director so we can find a way to fund this library without theft.
Parting thought
Beware flirting with librarians. We already know what you read and have already formed an opinion about you. We may not keep records of which titles you have checked out, but if you visit often enough, we know your overall tastes nonetheless.
If you're not on Hive yet, I invite you to join through PeakD. If you use my referral link, I'll even delegate some Hive Power to help you get started.