Note: With one exception (which has a warning), I've tried to keep this spoiler free.
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I remember vividly getting up very early in the morning to see Princess Diana marry Prince Charles. I remember clearly exactly where I was when I learned Princess Diana had died. I can picture myself sitting on the daybed in the bedroom of my little apartment watching every moment of the coverage of Princess Diana’s funeral. I thought how bizarre that I can’t tear my eyes away from a funeral for a woman who was killed by the press.
Let me be very clear. Like Prince Harry my belief has always been that, regardless of what the official inquest said about the accident that took Princess Diana’s life, the real cause of that accident was the paparazzi - and in many respects - the never ending desire of people like me to know what was going on in her life.
So, it’s no surprise to me that Prince Harry has a difficult relationship with media coverage. It was also no surprise to me that (SPOILER ALERT) Prince Harry believed that his mother staged her own death so that she could finally get some privacy. While untrue, it’s easy to see why a little boy would believe this and keep believing it for many years.
Photo by King's Church International on Unsplash
So, then to his book - and let’s be honest - all of the media circus around he and Meghan Markle’s leaving the Royal Family Business. Part of me wants to say, “What business is it of mine what they do in their family and their business?” The part of me that got up at 4 a.m. to watch the making of a princess and who spent a weekend glued to her television watching a family in mourning over that same princess says, “This is not the way members of the Royal Family should act.”
Photo by Anika De Klerk on Unsplash
And, that’s the first part of the book that I want to emphasize - family. Family is hard. Family is complicated. Family is full of feuds and arguments - both spoken and unspoken. If my brother or sister wrote a book detailing loads of our childhood exploits and did so without allowing me to read it first and at least discuss why those pieces should or should not be in the book - I’d be upset. Case in point, I gave the eulogy at my mom’s funeral. We’d been sitting around together all week telling stories and recounting memories. I included one such story in my eulogy that my brother didn’t know would be in there and he was, appropriately so, not pleased. I didn’t write a book and publish it for the world to read with only my version of stories included in the book. Prince Harry did and this finds him on the wrong side of the line between right and wrong for me.
Second, is the concept of correcting the record and telling our version of events. In times when someone else has decided to take control of my narrative and tell my story for me - with or without my consent - things are always delivered in a manner that isn’t exactly the way I would have done it. In times that were done with my consent it was something a simple as a vocal inflection or a choice of words I wouldn’t have used. In times that were done without my consent, perhaps it was a story that I wouldn’t have told at all or my words - even when given for use - were changed without my consent.
There is an adage that says if you don’t want to see it in the newspaper, don’t put it in print. I got to come face to face with this adage several years ago. My hometown is near a small city in Eastern Indiana - population of about 35,000. It is safe to say that you are never more than 3 degrees of separation away from anyone you come across in the city - even when, like me - you lived in the surrounding county. I was a C-level executive in charge of a major building project at the local community college. There was a structural issue with the building which had put the project significantly behind schedule. At one point during this situation, the leadership team at the College decided to do an employee update by email. It would come from me but the entire team weighed in on it - the CEO, Marketing, Community Relations, etc. The email went through many, many drafts and we planned to release it as a press release to the media as we were writing it. I think the article ran in the paper late in the week with the rather ominous sounding opening lines of “In an email obtained by the Palladium Item from Kara Monroe…” and then went on to reprint the entire email. The update to the media was fully planned. Using the content of that email as the update was fully planned. How the media chose to portray it - as some sort of leaked email that they received - changed the way it was received across the community. When I walked into work on Friday and church on Sunday many, many people who didn’t know that giving that email to the media had been the plan all along expressed sorrow at how my email had been “leaked”. While I could correct the official record with those people, I couldn’t undo what the media had done and the perception it cause of me and of my institution.
Now, take that to every move you’ve ever made and every activity you’ve ever done and you can see why Prince Harry might want to “correct the record” of all of the past events of his life with the press. While never said outright in the book (and honestly I’ve read no reviews or watched any press about the book or their Netflix show), I believe this above all else was his intention in publishing Spare. I fully understand and empathize with wanting to correct the record. In this arena Prince Harry is on the side of right.
Finally for me is the role of the 24 hour news cycle in all of our lives today - those of us like me who rarely find ourselves in the news but watch it with abandon and those who find themselves the targets of a relentless beast hungry for content and controversy. CNN, the first 24 hour news network, first aired in 1980. Prince William was born in 1982 and Prince Harry was born in 1984. It is no doubt that these two young royals have a complex relationships with, what I will call, news as entertainment.
I had lunch with a dear friend recently and we discussed how the news on a 24 hour news network is 5 minutes of news and 55 minutes of discussion, debate, spin, analysis, and - oftentimes - just plain crap. As a general rule I’ve stopped watching the news because it’s simply bad for my mental health. I get angry when I see the intentional spin placed on a story that doesn’t offer the opposing viewpoint to that spin in the same story. It’s why we have “liberal” and “conservative” media now more than ever because very few news outlets actually provide both the point and the counterpoint in any argument.
Photo by Darya Luganskaya on Unsplash
It’s why, as I watched and read some coverage of Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, I became disgusted about the in-depth analysis of everything Princess Charlotte wore and did.
So, should ALL news be taken with a grain of salt and if we feel strongly about something should we dig into all sides of it? In my mind, unequivocally the answer is yes. And, we should all remember that news isn’t fact. It’s just information. Facts and information are not the same thing.
Overall, I enjoyed listening to the book. I enjoyed hearing the endearments Prince Harry had for his family. I know he loves them and doesn’t understand why the bonds of the monarchy - the family business - were stronger than the bonds of family. I think the manner in which he is trying to make a living outside of the monarchy is the only way he knows how and that despite all of its amazing wealth and privilege growing up in the spotlight was the worst place for that particular kid to grow up. And, so, I hate that he wrote a book that I found mostly enjoyable to listen to - and more-so I hate that he felt he had no other choice but to write it. May his family find forgiveness and may he once again be welcomed back into a family that he loves - even if only in private.
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All photos used in this article are source from Unsplash.com with attribution provided to the photographer per the terms of use of Unsplash.com.
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