Many times I was scared of failure. And the thought of failure made my stomach twist. I seemed like, if I fail, then I am not good enough, not intelligent, not strong or not capable like others. For the last few days, I tried to avoid failure anyway. I always stayed in my own area. In class, I stayed silent. I didn’t want to take any risk. Because I didn’t want to stumble.
But life doesn’t always stay safe. One day, I failed. And it was not a small or hidden failure, I failed publicly. Largely. I went to do something that was my favourite. And it was not successful. I felt very hurt. Felt like an insult. It seemed like the soil under my feet was moving away. For some days, I didn’t want to face anyone. I felt like, what’s the point of trying, if the result is like this?
But then something weird happened. That pain came out a little, and I started to see things clearly. The failure opened all the masks I had built. It made me stand in front of my real face. And what was the real thing? I wasn’t as weak as I thought. I crossed the thing I feared the most. I didn’t stop after failing. I moved forward. And I grew up in that chaos.
Failure taught me those things that success never taught me. When everything was broken, I had to rebuild everything. Not only my goal, but also my belief in myself. That time I asked myself, “Do I still want that? Why did I want that in the first place?” Those questions were hard, but they brought honest answers. Failure stopped me, made me think deeply. Taught me that proving for others is not important—finding my own reason is important.
It helped me to know the real people. When I failed, not everyone stayed with me. Some people stayed away from me. But who stayed? They didn’t stay for my achievements, they stayed for me. That understanding changed my relationships. I stopped trying to impress people. Instead, I gave importance to those who truly stayed beside me.
And probably the biggest change? I’m not afraid of failure anymore. Once you stand up after falling down, the fear of failure goes away. You will understand, this is not the end of the world, this is a part of life. A painful part, yes. But also an equally strong part.
Now I don’t search for perfection. I search for progress. Now I take more risks, talk more, I try even if I may be wrong. Because I know, if I fail again, and that can happen again, still that won’t destroy me. That will teach me. Make me stronger, smarter, and more of a real person.
Failure changed me. It humbled me. It freed me. And now I am not afraid of it. Rather, I am grateful for it.
